Make Your Partner Chase After You: 8 Tips!
Hey there, Christian couples! This episode is all about making your partner absolutely magnetic, and trust me, you don't want to miss it. We’re diving into eight powerful tips from our 33 years of marriage that’ll help you deepen emotional intimacy and create lasting attraction. Spoiler alert: it’s not just about the physical—it’s about intentional love, respect, and that good ol' godly pursuit. Whether you’re married, dating, or just praying for a spouse, we’ve got the scoop to help you reignite that spark and keep the fire alive. So grab a comfy seat, maybe a snack, and get ready to be inspired!
Christian couples, listen up! This episode dives into the nitty-gritty of what keeps the spark alive in your marriage and how to make your partner feel like the most adored human being on the planet. Teresa and Jeff, our dynamic duo, share their wisdom from over three decades of marriage, highlighting eight potent strategies that can turn any relationship into a love fest. Whether you’re married, dating, or just dreaming about a future spouse, the insights here are golden. They emphasize that attraction goes way beyond physical looks; it’s about intentional love, respect, and a godly pursuit. So, if you’re on a quest to deepen emotional intimacy and rev up the passion in your faith-based relationship, grab a snack, settle in, and let’s get inspired!
Takeaways:
- This episode is packed with tips for Christian couples to strengthen their relationships and deepen emotional intimacy.
- We explore how attraction in marriage goes beyond mere physicality, focusing on intentional love and respect.
- After 33 years of marriage, we've learned eight powerful secrets that make partners feel magnetic and desired.
- Husbands, your wife needs to feel pursued and cherished, not just needed; it's all about intentional love.
- Wives, your words have the power to uplift or tear down your husband; choose life and encouragement instead.
- Making time for meaningful conversations can ignite passion and connection in your marriage like never before.
Links referenced in this episode:
email: inspiringmarriages@att.net
Transcript
Christian couples, this episode is for you.
Speaker A:Whether you're married, dating or praying for a spouse, there's one truth you need to know.
Speaker A:Attraction in marriage is more than physical is about intentional love, respect and godly pursuit.
Speaker B:In today's episode, we're uncovering eight powerful things that we have learned in our 33 years of marriage that will make any partner magnetic.
Speaker B:So magnetic they'll chase after you with love, admiration and desire.
Speaker A:If you're searching for ways to deepen emotional intimacy, rekindle passion, and create lasting attraction in a faith centric relationship, keep listening.
Speaker A:You do not want to miss this.
Speaker B:Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.
Speaker B:We are Teresa and Jeff Fields and we're thrilled to have you with us.
Speaker A:Get ready to be inspired as we open up about our journey.
Speaker A:Our mission is to ignite a spark in couples everywhere.
Speaker B:We're all about nurturing deep friendships and cultivating marriages that thrive in every way.
Speaker A:Spiritually, spiritually, emotionally, romantically and physically.
Speaker B:Join us on this incredible adventure.
Speaker A:Be sure to check out our website@inspiringmarriages.net Dive into all of our previous episodes with detailed show notes that will enrich your listening experience.
Speaker B:Plus, scroll down to find our Keep in Touch section where you can sign up and receive our latest offerings absolutely free.
Speaker B:Don't miss out on the inspiration.
Speaker B:Visit us today.
Speaker A:As brother Jerry Savelle would say, God is a champion of making winners in life.
Speaker A:In the same way, marriage is a testament to God's commitment to making winners in life.
Speaker A:We believe that through love, unity, and unwavering faith, we are empowered to overcome challenges and achieve greatness.
Speaker B:Together, with God as our guiding force, we strive to create a partnership that thrives on mutual respect, understanding, and an unbreakable bond.
Speaker A:Our journey together is a celebration of God's divine purpose, making us stronger and more victorious with each passing day.
Speaker A:Marriage is a man and a woman, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically intimate, working together in a shared life to help each other realize their visions and dreams, and walking with God to fulfill their callings and goals.
Speaker A:So, Teresa, today we're going to talk about four things that husbands can do to make their wives feel pursued and desired.
Speaker A:Then we're going to talk about four things wives can do to make their husbands feel respected and desired.
Speaker A:So let's talk about the four things husbands can do for their wives.
Speaker A:Guys, your wife longs to feel pursued, cherished and desired.
Speaker A:It's not just about romance.
Speaker A:It's about showing intentional love that makes her feel secure and valued in your marriage.
Speaker A:Now here are four ways to make her feel that love.
Speaker A:Number one, lead spiritually and emotionally, guys.
Speaker A:That's one of the number one needs of a wife, spiritual leadership.
Speaker A:A godly husband who prays over his wife, initiates faith based discussions and leads spiritually is irresistible.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:When you see Christ in your marriage, your wife feels safe, cherished and deeply connected to you.
Speaker B:Yes, that is so true.
Speaker B:I know the.
Speaker B:When you introduce that, you said it gives her security and it's very, very true.
Speaker C:We need that spiritual leadership for ourselves.
Speaker B:But also for the whole family.
Speaker B:And for the man to take that role instead of the wife having to step up and do that is so huge.
Speaker B:I mean, it just, it just makes you just so great in her eyes.
Speaker B:And to me, it makes you so great in my eyes that that is something that I always desire to have.
Speaker C:In our family, our marriage.
Speaker A:Ephesians 5:25 from the voice translation reminds us, husbands, you must love your wives so deeply, purely as sacrificially, that we can understand it only when we compare it to love the anointed one has for his bride, the church.
Speaker A:A man who loves sacrificially will draw his wife closer to him spiritually and emotionally.
Speaker A:Number two, guys, you gotta speak her love language daily.
Speaker A:Whether it's words of affirmation, acts of service, time, gifts, or physical touch, showing intentional love in her preferred language keeps the attraction strong.
Speaker A:Pursue her like you did when you first met, and she will feel adored.
Speaker A:Guys, when you were dating, especially when you're first dating, you did everything possible to make her, to make an impression upon that, that beautiful woman that you, that you were dating.
Speaker A:You pursued her, you called her, you, you prayed over her.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:Open the doors.
Speaker A:You were so sweet to her.
Speaker A:You were so kind to her.
Speaker A:Why did that stop, if it did stop?
Speaker A:I know a lot of guys still do all that today.
Speaker A:Open her door, hold her hand, get her flowers, get her gifts, speak over her, whatever her love language is.
Speaker A:Teresa's love language is acts of service.
Speaker A:So that is how she feels love from me.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:It really does speak deeply to me.
Speaker B:Even if it's something simple like washing the dishes, that blesses me.
Speaker B:Because that, that is my love language.
Speaker A:Now, guys, you gotta be attentive and present.
Speaker A:So it.
Speaker A:So put the phone down, Listen to her heart.
Speaker A:So don't just listen to the words she's saying, listen to her heart.
Speaker A:Make time for intentional connection.
Speaker A:Because when she feels like a priority, she's drawn closer to you emotionally and physically.
Speaker B:Guys, that's right.
Speaker B:I know a lot of women probably get so discouraged if they're trying to just have a conversation.
Speaker B:Not even anything deep, but try to have a conversation.
Speaker B:And their husbands are either engrossed in a football game or baseball on TV or engrossing their phone.
Speaker B:And it does, I mean, anybody would feel that way, just like, well, you're not interested in hearing what I have to say, or you're not really interested enough in me to listen.
Speaker B:Just take some time, take a break from something you're doing and listen.
Speaker B:So of course women have to be more strategic, like when they're going to try to bring up something that they need to discuss.
Speaker C:That's good.
Speaker B:We've talked about this.
Speaker B:Having a time set for having conversation, for having daily communication.
Speaker B:So that way if there's a concern or if, if they just need to work out something with the kids or something with their own schedules, anything, then just have that set time.
Speaker B:So the phones are put down, the TV's not a distraction and all of that.
Speaker B:And you can share what you need to say and have that connection that's, that's so important.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:It's really not important to binge that last show that you want to watch.
Speaker A:And if you have a dvr, you know, you can, you can record it in the game and just making it an intentional connection to be present and just make that time.
Speaker A:If you're waiting until you get really tired before you get ready for bed, you're not going to have any energy to, to talk.
Speaker A:Right, Teresa?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You don't want to be where you so tired that you, you watched or scrolled so long that when you hit the bed, you just fall asleep.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker A:You got to have time for reading and talking and just connecting.
Speaker A:Right, Teresa?
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker B:Yes, that's so true.
Speaker A:All right, guys, number four, you got to initiate passion and affection.
Speaker A:Your wife wants to feel desired, not just needed.
Speaker A:Romancer.
Speaker A:Now, you guys, everyone knows you guys.
Speaker A:If you've been married any amount of time, romance doesn't begin in the bedroom.
Speaker A:It's an all day thing, all week thing where you're leaving sweet notes for her, you're talking sweetly to her, you're giving her soft, non sexual affection.
Speaker A:You're helping with the chores in the house, you're helping with the dishes, you're helping with the meal, you're helping with the kids.
Speaker A:You're just helping, you're helping support your wife.
Speaker A:I remember one of our pastors talked about when they were he had young kids, they were early married, and he was working all day, and he come home, and then he would plop down on the chair and read a paper or watch tv, and his wife was working, getting the dinner ready, and then she had to get the kids to bed, and then she know how to clean up, and then she had to get ready for bed, and then she come to bed.
Speaker A:He's like, hey, baby.
Speaker A:She's like, you got to be kidding.
Speaker A:I'm exhausted.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:So, guys, you got to take.
Speaker A:I mean, every woman is a working wife.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So, you know, whether you're outside the home or you're inside the home, women work hard.
Speaker A:They really do.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And just because you come home, why don't you take some load off of her?
Speaker A:You know, she's been working all day.
Speaker A:Well, I'm tired.
Speaker A:Well, she's tired, too.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:You know, if.
Speaker A:If.
Speaker A:No, if she only worked when she wasn't tired, you would never get any supper.
Speaker A:The dishes would never take the load off.
Speaker A:Ask her, what can I do to help you?
Speaker A:What can I do to take a load off?
Speaker A:What's the one thing that you just don't want like to do?
Speaker A:Let me do that for you.
Speaker C:That's right.
Speaker A:And that would just take a load off of her and get her to save up some energy emotionally and physically.
Speaker A:So there can be some sweet time.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I think women don't show that they're under stress a lot of times because they're used to being multitask.
Speaker B:Multitaskers, if that's a word.
Speaker B:We're so used to juggling a lot of tasks, a lot of schedules, a lot of things.
Speaker B:And we may not show that we're dealing with a lot of stress or that it's very stressful, but if.
Speaker B:If a man is, like you said, a husband is taking some things off of her plate, out of her responsibilities to take care of, and she has some energy left to.
Speaker B:To be romantic or to spend time with her husband and enjoy her time with him.
Speaker B:Whether it's just conversation or romantic time, it's.
Speaker B:It's so important that she's not just still revolving in her mind all these things that didn't get done, you know, or, you know, feel so stressed and upset about things that are not going smoothly because we like our home to run smoothly.
Speaker B:We like things to be in order.
Speaker B:We like everyone's needs being taken care of sometimes before our own.
Speaker B:So that's so important for a husband to be aware of that and.
Speaker B:And help her feel like, you know, she should be treated like a queen, right?
Speaker B:She shouldn't have to do everything right.
Speaker A:Compliment her beauty.
Speaker A:Now, I know women go through all kinds of phases in their life and children can change, change things, and it's just sometimes they just don't feel pretty.
Speaker A:Compliment her beauty because she is gorgeous.
Speaker A:Be affectionate and show her that she still captivates you.
Speaker A:Husbands, when you pursue your wife spiritually, emotionally and physically, you are creating an unbreakable bond that will keep the fire alive and in your marriage.
Speaker A:Exciting news.
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Speaker A:So, Teresa, let's talk about some things wives can do to make their husbands feel respected and desired.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:This is so important.
Speaker B:You know, wives, you're, you're not married to your house.
Speaker B:You're not married to your children.
Speaker B:You're married to your husband.
Speaker B:So your husband longs for respect and admiration and desire.
Speaker B:So I'm going to present to you four ways to, to make him feel completely drawn to you.
Speaker B:And this is not in any way manipulation.
Speaker B:This is how to serve your husband, how to bless him.
Speaker B:Just like what Jeff shared about four husbands to do for their wives, this is something that will minister to him deeply.
Speaker B:So, number one, speak life over him.
Speaker B:You have to understand that your words can be very helpful and they can be very harmful.
Speaker B:And we're going to get to that in just a minute.
Speaker B:So a man thrives on respect and encouragement.
Speaker B:When you affirm his leadership, his efforts, and his strengths, he feels empowered and appreciated.
Speaker B:And I would say even if you're not seeing all the leadership or all the efforts you want to see and you're not seeing him really shining in his areas of strength, you can still speak to that.
Speaker B:You can still draw that out of him by just affirming him.
Speaker B:Honey, I think you're a great husband.
Speaker B:I appreciate you leading our family.
Speaker B:Thank you for working at your job and providing for us.
Speaker C:Anything that you can compliment him and affirm him in.
Speaker C:If he just does a little thing like pick up a pair of socks, I really appreciate that you picked your socks up today.
Speaker B:I mean, it doesn't have to be.
Speaker C:A huge thing, but this will help him.
Speaker C:He needs to feel appreciated.
Speaker C:So Proverbs 18 verse 21 in the New living translation reminds us the tongue can bring death or life.
Speaker C:So your words, ladies, build him up or they break him down.
Speaker B:And some men have already been torn.
Speaker C:Down by words of women where it was a boss or a sister or a so called friend or maybe their own mother.
Speaker C:That's really hard on a man to.
Speaker B:Be torn down by words from a woman.
Speaker C:This is so important.
Speaker C:We have to speak faith and respect and love to our husbands.
Speaker A:That is, that is so important.
Speaker A:Teresa.
Speaker D:I remind of a study they did where they found out that when husbands.
Speaker A:Hear the words thank you is has.
Speaker D:The same effect on a man that the words I love you have on a woman.
Speaker A:Because it's just it, it makes a man feel love.
Speaker D:Now he may not load the dishwasher.
Speaker A:Like, like you would, or he may not do the laundry like you would.
Speaker D:Or he may not vacuum like you would.
Speaker D:But don't undo those things.
Speaker A:He'll think, why did I bother?
Speaker A:I mean, you're just going to redo it.
Speaker D:Why did I bother doing that?
Speaker A:You just.
Speaker A:He'll get through it.
Speaker A:I mean, the dishes will get clean.
Speaker D:The laundry will get clean.
Speaker A:But don't undermine him by going back and just changing it because he may.
Speaker D:Not do things exactly as you would.
Speaker A:Do because you do the things the right way.
Speaker A:But see what he did for you as an act of love.
Speaker C:That's right.
Speaker D:And don't reject that, that act.
Speaker A:So if he's doing something that he normally wouldn't do, so may.
Speaker A:Usually couples have divvied up the chores and you.
Speaker A:Most, most guys take care of the outside and the grass and, and the lawn and, and fix things in the house.
Speaker A:I mean, mostly, I mean women more than capable, of course.
Speaker A:And there are some things that women, maybe you.
Speaker A:One always wash the dishes, one always does laundry and vacuums or mops.
Speaker A:I mean, there's different things you do and it's not a male female assignment here.
Speaker A:It's just you divide it up.
Speaker A:Divide up and conquer.
Speaker A:And if he takes out something that you usually do and you do very well and doesn't do exactly like you do, it's an act of love.
Speaker A:So don't, don't reject him right by.
Speaker A:Well, don't bother.
Speaker A:I'll just do it myself.
Speaker A:No, don't do that.
Speaker A:I mean, you'll get.
Speaker A:The laundry will survive, the dishes will survive.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But he, Teresa said he thrives on respect and encouragement.
Speaker A:In fact, that's his number.
Speaker A:Your husband's number.
Speaker A:One need above sex is respect.
Speaker B:So true.
Speaker C:So true.
Speaker C:So, number two, another way that you can really make your husband feel respected and desired is to prioritize emotional and physical connection.
Speaker B:Now, of course, we women, we thrive.
Speaker C:On the emotional connection, but for men, they need physical touch to feel that they are getting emotionally connected to you.
Speaker C:It's like we're wired so differently.
Speaker C:For us, it has to be emotional and then physical.
Speaker C:But for men, it kind of starts in the physical, and then their emotions come into play.
Speaker C:So physical intimacy isn't just about sexual.
Speaker C:It's about emotional closeness.
Speaker C:So for women, we understand that we want to have that emotional closeness to be physical with our husband.
Speaker C:So if he is doing anything like Jeff talked about in his first segment, that is like sending little notes, texting you, doing little thoughtful things, or even, like I said, doing dishes.
Speaker C:And maybe not the way you like it, but doing things for you that normally you would take care of yourself.
Speaker C:Think of that as his way of emotionally showing you he's trying to make connection with you emotionally.
Speaker C:So don't wait till it's time for something physical to start letting your emotions get involved.
Speaker C:That's so important.
Speaker C:We have to think about those things with endearment towards our husband, the little things that he does.
Speaker C:So you can do your part.
Speaker C:You can flirt with him, you can initiate affection.
Speaker C:You can prioritize connecting with him.
Speaker C:And when you do these things, your husband will feel wanted and deeply loved.
Speaker D:Wow.
Speaker D:That is.
Speaker A:That is tremendous.
Speaker D:You should write a book, Teresa.
Speaker D:Ladies, your husband wants to feel wanted.
Speaker A:And deeply loved just.
Speaker A:Just as.
Speaker D:As much as you desire that emotional connection, that.
Speaker D:And that physical leadership, your husband need.
Speaker A:Needs to feel wanted and deeply loved in every way.
Speaker B:That's so true.
Speaker C:So number three, for the wives, support his purpose and vision.
Speaker C:I really love this.
Speaker C:Wives, if you don't know what his purpose and his vision is, that is something that you guys can sit down and talk about together.
Speaker C:What vision do you have for our marriage?
Speaker C:What do you see as your purpose and your role in our marriage, or for our entire marriage, for both of us, what do you see as our purpose?
Speaker C:And that's something you can pray about together and talk about together.
Speaker C:But if he already knows, like, I am supposed to be doing this and I'm going after this, whether it's, you know, being a businessman or a minister or working with kids or doing all kinds of community projects, if he sees himself doing those things, even if he hasn't started, we need to support our husbands in this endeavor and his purpose.
Speaker C:Because when a man gets a hold of his Purpose.
Speaker C:And he has a wife who's supporting him and encouraging him.
Speaker C:He can go so far.
Speaker C:I mean, it's like the limits are taken off.
Speaker C:So a man who feels supported in his calling is drawn closer to his wife.
Speaker C:So you're not only helping him to pursue his calling or his purpose and the vision he has, you are also helping him draw closer to you.
Speaker C:Because like Jeff said, men need to feel that they're supported.
Speaker C:That's one of the four top needs of a men.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker C:A man.
Speaker C:Right, Jeff?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker C:To have that domestic support, that respect.
Speaker A:And domestic support, which is not cleaning, cooking and sewing.
Speaker D:It is supporting your husband.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker D:Encouraging him.
Speaker C:And that's Right.
Speaker C:Encourage his dreams.
Speaker C:And, you know, if he's bold enough to come and share those with you, don't say, that'll never happen.
Speaker C:Or I don't think you're made for that.
Speaker C:Or, you know, how in the world.
Speaker B:Could you do that?
Speaker C:You know, you don't want to say discouraging things because that will deflate him a lot more than.
Speaker C:And, you know, then you realize they take the way that you are perceiving him.
Speaker C:A man takes away.
Speaker C:You're perceiving him very deeply, whether he will show it or not.
Speaker C:So if you're not encouraging now, please don't say something discouraging, but learn how to encourage his dreams.
Speaker C:Pray over his work and what he's endeavoring to do, and honor his leadership in the home.
Speaker C:You know, let him know, like just said, you appreciate it.
Speaker C:Thank him for his leadership.
Speaker C:If he takes initiative and says, I'm going to take care of little Johnny who did something wrong today, and I'm going to talk to him and I'm going to set up, whatever the consequences are, some kind of discipline, some kind of consequences for his behavior.
Speaker C:You know, say to me, as a wife, as a mom, I would say, hooray, thank you for stepping in.
Speaker C:Because he just wasn't listening to me.
Speaker C:He wasn't responding to my correction.
Speaker C:And for especially boys, I think this is something that I've seen, even though we only had one son, that really was helpful to me.
Speaker C:And I had to tell Jeff, I appreciate you taking charge with that, taking leadership and handling that situation.
Speaker C:So honor his leadership in the home.
Speaker C:That is.
Speaker C:That is really, really important to a husband, to a man.
Speaker C:And the fourth one, the way that you can really help your husband feel respected and desired is to show him that you desire him.
Speaker C:So there are lots of ways that you can do this.
Speaker C:Wives.
Speaker C:It really is, you know, your husband and you Know what will bless him?
Speaker C:So men crave affirmation that they're attractive, that they're worthy, and that they're desirable.
Speaker C:So, you know, tell him you like that new little mustache, or you like the way he's doing his hair, or you think that shirt looks really good on him today, or whatever it is.
Speaker C:It can be just little things like that and a man will feel like he's a million dollars, you know, just walking out the door, oh, she thought I look good today.
Speaker C:So flirt with him and let him know you love being close to him.
Speaker C:I mean, show him.
Speaker C:Don't just say it.
Speaker C:Really show him.
Speaker C:You know, snuggle up to him and take his hand and, and look in his eyes and just make him feel like you just couldn't wait to get near him when he comes home.
Speaker C:I mean, that's, that's so encouraging for a man that, that he's desirable to his wife.
Speaker C:So show him and let him know emotionally and physically.
Speaker C:When a husband feels desired, he's even drawn more to his to pursue his wife.
Speaker C:So that's, that's so important.
Speaker C:If you want to be pursued, then you build up your husband.
Speaker C:Show him you desire him, help him feel appreciated, all of those things, and he will pursue you.
Speaker C:That's the beauty of it, right?
Speaker D:When he comes home, come to him and give him a big hug and a sweet kiss.
Speaker D:Just let him know that you are.
Speaker A:So happy to see him.
Speaker D:You've been thinking about him all day.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker D:Don't let the dog be more excited to see your husband than you are.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker D:So here's your challenge.
Speaker D:Starting today, take one thing from this episode and apply it.
Speaker D:Whether it's affirming your spouse, speaking life over your spouse, romancing your spouse, leading with faith, watch how these small intentional actions transform your marriage.
Speaker D:All right, Christian couples, this is your moment.
Speaker D:We've uncovered powerful ways to ignite pursuit, deepen connection, and bring God's design for your marriage to life.
Speaker D:Whether it's through intentional love, respect, romance, or spiritual leadership, you have the ability to cultivate a thriving, passionate, Christ centered relationship.
Speaker C:Amen.
Speaker C:Now we want to hear from you.
Speaker C:Drop us an email inspiringmarriagest.net if you're ready to pursue your spouse in a way that strengthens faith, love and intimacy.
Speaker D:And don't forget, if this episode blessed you like.
Speaker D:Subscribe and share so more couples can grow in God's truth for marriage.
Speaker D:Let's build relationships that reflect his love boldly, intentionally, and with passion.
Speaker C:If you would like us to pray for you drop us an email@instiringmarriagesatt.net and we will pray for you.
Speaker D:Until next time, stay rooted in faith, love fiercely, and pursue your spouse like never before.
Speaker A:And remember, husband and wife are friends for life.
Speaker D:See you in the next episode.
