Time's Up! How to Rescue Your Marriage from Time Thieves
Today, we're diving into a topic that's super important for every couple: redeeming lost time in your marriage. It’s wild how most couples don’t drift apart because of big fights, but rather because they run out of quality time without even noticing. We’ll chat about how time is way more valuable than money—like, nobody ever says they wish they’d worked more instead of spending time with their loved ones! We’ll also cover some sneaky little time thieves that might be stealing your moments together. So grab your favorite drink, kick back, and let’s get into how we can make the most of our time and bring back those cherished moments in our marriages! Time can be a sneaky little rascal in marriages, can’t it? In this episode, Jeff and Teresa tackle the often-overlooked culprit behind drifting relationships: lost time. They stress that it’s not that couples fall out of love; it’s that they simply run out of time to cultivate their bond. With a sprinkle of biblical wisdom from Ephesians, they highlight the difference between mere chronological time and the rich moments that create lasting memories. The conversation flows into identifying those pesky ‘time thieves’—you know, the distractions like phones and busy schedules that steal precious moments away from couples. Jeff and Teresa share practical tips for reclaiming that lost time, like being intentional about daily interactions and setting aside distractions. They make it clear that even small efforts can lead to significant changes, urging listeners to take a stand against the time thieves lurking in their lives. To top it all off, the episode rings with a hopeful message that it’s never too late to redeem the years that may feel lost. Couples can prioritize their connection and, with God’s help, restore the joy and intimacy that makes a marriage truly thrive. So, grab your partner and start making those meaningful moments—because time is too precious to waste!
Takeaways:
- In marriage, redeeming lost time is crucial for nurturing your bond and connection.
- Time is more valuable than money, so prioritize moments that truly matter together.
- Being intentional about spending time together can prevent losing connection in your marriage.
- Distractions and busyness can steal precious moments from your relationship, so be mindful.
Links referenced in this episode:
- www.inspiringmarriages.net
Please pick up a copy of our 7 Day Devotional: From Lonely to Best Friends Again : https://inspiringmarriages.aweb.page/transform-your-marriage-devotional
Transcript
Redeeming lost time in your marriage.
Speaker A:Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages podcast for Jeff and Teresa Fields.
Speaker A:And our mission is to help Christian couples strengthen their friendship, grow spiritually together, and experience the marriage that God designed.
Speaker A:So, Teresa, we want to talk about time today.
Speaker A:So most Christian couples, they don't fall out of love.
Speaker A:They slowly run out of time.
Speaker A:And the dangerous part is they don't even notice it happening.
Speaker A:The Bible says in Ephesians 5, 15, 16, to redeem the time.
Speaker A:Which means there is something trying to steal it.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So after 34 years of marriage, we've learned this.
Speaker A:Your marriage doesn't drift because of big arguments.
Speaker A:It drifts because of unredeemed time.
Speaker A:Point number one.
Speaker A:Today, time is more valuable than money.
Speaker A:So we're commanded by Paul in Ephesians chapter 5 to redeem the time.
Speaker A:The word redeem means to buy back, to recover from loss, to restore back value.
Speaker B:That's really good.
Speaker A:The word time in this verse is not chronological time.
Speaker A:It's not seconds, minutes, hours.
Speaker A:It's more of moments or opportunities.
Speaker A:So it's telling us to use wisdom to recover moments in our life, to make the most of every opportunity using the wisdom of God.
Speaker A:And we know that time is more valuable than money.
Speaker A:Because at the end of your life, no one ever says, I wish I worked more.
Speaker A:I wish I stayed away from the family more.
Speaker A:They always say, I wish I had more time.
Speaker A:Because you cannot earn more time.
Speaker A:He said.
Speaker A:You can't.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:You can't even add a cubic to your height by worrying.
Speaker A:So you just can't.
Speaker A:There's things you can't do.
Speaker A:You can't add time.
Speaker A:Now you can court your nutrition and exercise, of course, live your best life and extend your life.
Speaker A:But even then, our life is such a.
Speaker A:It's still.
Speaker A:It's like a vapor.
Speaker A:If you live 120 years in the context of time, it's still just a vapor.
Speaker A:God told us to redeem the time, make more moments, make more connection.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:So really, the difference between Chronos time and I think the word is Karis K A I R O S the time.
Speaker A:In this verse, it's say you and your spouse are sitting on the couch at night from, let's say, 7 to 9.
Speaker A:Now you can sit on the couch from 7 to 9 and watch something, and that's just chronological time.
Speaker A:But instead you can use that same hour, same two hours, and you can have real connection.
Speaker A:You can have a real moment.
Speaker B:So you're making the most of the.
Speaker A:Time, making moments, making connections, taking advantage of our opportunity here.
Speaker A:Now, point number two about this.
Speaker A:Just like money, we can spend, we can sow, and we can waste time.
Speaker A:So here's the truth about marriage.
Speaker A:If you're not intentionally sowing time into your relationship, you are unintentionally losing it.
Speaker A:Chronological time does not stand still, right?
Speaker A:It's either building something or it's quietly slipping away.
Speaker A:You guys heard the phrase time.
Speaker A:Chronological time marches on.
Speaker A:But when we use the wisdom of God, we enrich that time and we create moments.
Speaker A:In your marriage, we create moments and connection with your spouse.
Speaker A:You're given a richness to that time.
Speaker B:And you said intentionally sowing time, that has to be intentional.
Speaker B:You talk about it, you plan for it, you prepare for it.
Speaker B:To sow time and seize those moments or those hours that you can really have quality time together that's so important.
Speaker B:It's not just a catchy phrase.
Speaker B:It's something you have to be intentional to do.
Speaker A:Number three, we're talking about losing time.
Speaker A:There are some things called time thieves.
Speaker A:And Jesus told us that the enemy only comes steal, kill, and destroy.
Speaker A:And one of the primary things he steals is time.
Speaker B:That means he tries to steal opportunities from us, opportunities where we can do what we're supposed to be doing with our time.
Speaker A:Because if he can steal time from you and your spouse, he can weaken your connection.
Speaker B:It's so typical of him to undermine a marriage relationship like he does.
Speaker B:Trying to undermine your relationship with God by getting you distracted, not spending your time intentionally doing what God wants you to do.
Speaker B:He's very cunning.
Speaker B:So we have to be watchful.
Speaker B:We have to be aware of these time thieves.
Speaker A:That's very good.
Speaker A:Now, some of these time thieves, they may look like busyness.
Speaker A:You're just so busy.
Speaker A:You're busy with everything.
Speaker A:Maybe you're busy with your children, as you should be, but maybe you're busy, too busy with work.
Speaker A:Maybe you have other things going on.
Speaker A:Maybe you're coaching, or maybe you got a bowling league, or maybe you got this other habit you're spending a lot of time on.
Speaker A:Maybe your kids have soccer practice, ballet, dance, music, baseball, softball, gymnastics school.
Speaker A:And there's a lot of busyness.
Speaker A:So if you get to the point where all you're doing is man, try is just trying to manage your calendar that is too busy.
Speaker A:That really flows into the second sign of.
Speaker A:Of a time thief is distractions.
Speaker A:What are some good examples of distractions?
Speaker B:Like you said, just having so many commitments going on that you can't focus on your family life, you can't focus on your marriage and continuing to build your marriage or sowing into your children.
Speaker B:Everything is distracting.
Speaker B:Television news reports, things going on in the world, family, other family members wanting you to do things for them instead of with your own family and your own marriage.
Speaker B:They're just everywhere.
Speaker B:Of course our phones, we know our phones are major distractions because we want to check on what's going on our phones and all the notifications we get all the time.
Speaker B:It's just everywhere really.
Speaker A:That comes us to number three thief.
Speaker A:Exhaustion.
Speaker A:Just too exhausted.
Speaker A:We're not taking the time for good rest.
Speaker A:You're not taking time for good.
Speaker A:No nutrition.
Speaker A:You're just exhausted.
Speaker A:And when you exhausted you just don't have the energy, stamina to interact with your spouse.
Speaker A:And you already mentioned constant phone use which is a pandemic.
Speaker A:Pandemic really?
Speaker A:Epidemic.
Speaker B:Yes, it's like an epidemic.
Speaker A:Now another time thief is emotional distance unresolved hurts is a time thief.
Speaker A:Talk about time.
Speaker A:Not only chronological time, but opportunities to connect.
Speaker A:That's a chief target of the enemy.
Speaker A:But if you want to know what God values, just look at what the enemy attacks.
Speaker A:And the enemy is attacking your time together with your spouse.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:You think I only spend a little time on my phone?
Speaker A:Let's say you spend two hours a day non productive time when you should could have been interacting with your spouse.
Speaker A:Make it connection with your spouse.
Speaker A:So two hours a day times seven is 14 hours a week times 52.
Speaker A:That's 728 hours per year.
Speaker A: A year times four is: Speaker A:So let's say you were getting a bachelor's degree.
Speaker A:Bachelor's degree is 100,120 semester hours.
Speaker A:So a semester hour is about 15 to 16 classroom hours.
Speaker A:So you multiply by that is 19 20.
Speaker A:So the time that you could have been connecting, you could have been learning another language.
Speaker A:You could have been doing some improvement to yourself, some education.
Speaker A:You wasted it in four years you would have wasted more time than it would have taken to get a bachelor's degree.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:Just talking about the classroom perspective.
Speaker A:Just talking about classroom time.
Speaker A:Not counting the time.
Speaker A:But you see my point.
Speaker A:Wow, it's a lot.
Speaker A:That's a lot of wasted time.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:That's amazing.
Speaker A:Point number four.
Speaker A:The fool misunderstands time.
Speaker A:The fool says I don't have time to exercise.
Speaker A:I don't have time to have quiet time.
Speaker A:I don't have time to read a bible.
Speaker A:I don't have time to pray.
Speaker A:I just don't have time.
Speaker B:Or we don't have time at the end of the day to talk or.
Speaker A:You don't have time in the.
Speaker A:I just don't have time to connect with my spouse.
Speaker A:But wisdom says I will make time for what matters most.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Proverbs 3 tells us that wisdom brings length of days.
Speaker A:In other words, wisdom doesn't just make life better, it makes life longer and full, fuller.
Speaker A:So wisdom will let you take that time and make it fuller.
Speaker B:That's so true.
Speaker A:So here's the question.
Speaker A:Where is your time going to right now?
Speaker A:You've seen those commercials on television where they put an app on your phone and find all the hidden subscriptions that you forgot about that you're still paying for and it comes out to be hundreds and hundreds of dollars.
Speaker A:If they just.
Speaker A:What if they gave us that, made an app that would tell us how much time we were wasting every day?
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:That would be helpful.
Speaker A:So let's ask you this question.
Speaker A:Are you investing your time or are you losing your time?
Speaker A:Because your marriage is not just based on love.
Speaker A:It's built on time invested together.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:And like you said, the enemy, we're helping the enemy to steal our time if we're not aware that we're losing it.
Speaker A:Remember, this enemy is defeated.
Speaker A:He has no power over you.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So our marriages doesn't need more love, even though more love is good, but needs redeemed time.
Speaker A:Amen.
Speaker A:What?
Speaker A:We want cover now.
Speaker A:The enemy wants to steal your years, but God wants to restore them.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Have you ever looked at your marriage and said, where did the years go?
Speaker A:Not in a dramatic way, just quietly, time passed and something still feels missing.
Speaker A:The Bible actually talks about this.
Speaker A:It's called loss.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's a wake up call.
Speaker B:If you start thinking back and saying, where did the time go?
Speaker B:What did we do with all that time?
Speaker B:Now we see our kids are so much older now than when we felt like we had a connected, close relationship.
Speaker B:So what have we done with that time?
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:Yes, it is lost.
Speaker B:But we have good news, don't we, Jeff?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:God just doesn't want to bless your future.
Speaker A:He wants to restore your past.
Speaker A:But point number one, you have to realize the curse involves loss.
Speaker A:So In Deuteronomy, chapter 28, it tells us you're acting like you're under a curse.
Speaker A:You plant much, but harvest little.
Speaker A:You seem like you're sowing a lot, but you're not seeing a lot of Harvest coming back.
Speaker A:You seem like you're putting a lot of effort in your marriage, but you're not seeing any fruit of it.
Speaker A:Deuteronomy 28 says, you will gather, but the locusts will consume it.
Speaker A:This is a picture of total loss.
Speaker A:It's effort without return, time without fruit.
Speaker A:And some couples feel like this.
Speaker A:We've been married for years, but where is to closeness?
Speaker A:Let us assure you, God does not want you to live under the curse.
Speaker A:He's already conquered the curse.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:He was cursed on the tree.
Speaker A:So we don't have to live under the curse.
Speaker A:That is not God's desire for us.
Speaker A:If you're seeing, this is not God's plan for you.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:God doesn't want you to sow effort and get nothing out of it.
Speaker A:He doesn't want your life to be without fruit.
Speaker A:He wants you to be fruitful.
Speaker A:He told Adam and Eve, be fruitful and multiply.
Speaker A:That's his will.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Point number two.
Speaker A:When the Bible talks about locusts, locusts are a symbol, a shadow of time thieves.
Speaker A:In Joel chapter one, it talks about locusts.
Speaker A:And when locusts are involved, there are multiple layers of destruction.
Speaker A:There's the locust, there's a canker worm, there's a caterpillar.
Speaker A:Each one represents loss over time.
Speaker A:And in marriage, it can look like this.
Speaker A:It can miss conversations.
Speaker A:You have opportunities for conversation, but you miss them.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Unresolved hurt.
Speaker A:You're hanging on to hurt.
Speaker A:You have to go to your spouse, then get that thing taken care of.
Speaker A:You have to face it together.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:And if it's unresolved hurt, you're going to find emotional distance, and that continues.
Speaker A:There's going to be years of disconnection.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:That's a terrible picture.
Speaker B:Like you said, those are layers of destruction going on with your time.
Speaker B:That's being stolen from you, and it's damaging to a marriage.
Speaker B:But that's not the end of the story.
Speaker B:Thank goodness.
Speaker A:Let me repeat.
Speaker A:This is not God's will.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:It is not God's will for us to live like this.
Speaker A:Point number three.
Speaker A:God restores time.
Speaker A:One of the most powerful promises in the Bible is Joel2.25.
Speaker A:I will restore to you the years.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:That's a powerful promise because we see so many people in the Bible that missed opportunities or they heard what God said, but they waited to do it.
Speaker B:There was lost time.
Speaker B:There were complications or consequences.
Speaker B:But then to have a promise like that, God's saying, if you come back to doing it, my way, I'll restore the years to you, not just the blessings you could have had, not just joy, even though those are wonderful.
Speaker B:It's wonderful to have the blessings, it's wonderful to have joy.
Speaker B:But God restoring years, that is amazing.
Speaker B:Only God can do that, right?
Speaker A:Only God can do that.
Speaker A:Now, it's not like God's going to take you and then you're going to be 20 years younger.
Speaker A:So you may have been married 10, 20, 30 years and feel like there's not a lot of connection there.
Speaker A:But God can take the next 20 days, help you fill it with connection and memory and moments that it can fill.
Speaker A:Fill up the next 20 days.
Speaker A:It'll feel like a restoration of the previous 20s, 20, 20 years.
Speaker B:Yes, that's right.
Speaker B:If he can restore our youthfulness, not necessarily turning the clock back, but if he can restore our youth, and he can certainly restore our marriage relationship and make it fresh and new again, restore that sweetness and that, that joy, and it can be like the lost years didn't even happen.
Speaker B:That's what's so amazing about God.
Speaker A:Point number four.
Speaker A:Harvest always requires time.
Speaker A:So harvest is always a result of seed and time.
Speaker A:So seed, time and harvest.
Speaker A:But when time is stolen from us, the harvest is delayed.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:But when God restores time, he can accelerate what was stolen.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Or what was delayed.
Speaker B:He can accelerate it.
Speaker B:That's so fabulous.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Like we said, it can make it seem like that time was never lost and bring you into the harvest of what you sowed without that long time span in between turning around and starting to sow the right things into your relationship, to have quality time together, to plan things together, to enjoy your time together again and have good conversations, have good prayer time, have good study time together.
Speaker B:What, Whatever helps you feel close together.
Speaker B:It can seem like those lost years never happened and you get the harvest.
Speaker B:The beauty of your relationship comes back so quickly.
Speaker B:It's just amazing.
Speaker B:Like we said, only God can do that.
Speaker A:And we can count on the scriptures as a promise.
Speaker A:God is not mocked.
Speaker A:For whatever man sows, he shall also reap.
Speaker A:And that's sometimes used in a negative content, bad things that happen to this person because God said the Word says, God's not mocked.
Speaker A:No, it's.
Speaker A:We're talking about goodness that you sow goodness and you will reap it.
Speaker A:Another great thing is Jesus is lord over time.
Speaker A:So the enemy will come to us and whisper to us and said, it's too late.
Speaker A:You just wasted too much time.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:You just wasted too much time.
Speaker A:There's no hope for your marriage ever changing.
Speaker A:But Jesus says, no, it's not over.
Speaker A:Time does not control Jesus.
Speaker A:He controls time.
Speaker B:That's so powerful.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:If you feel like years have been wasted, time has slipped away, connection has faded.
Speaker A:It's not too late.
Speaker A:God is.
Speaker A:Is the restorer of time.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker A:You can rebuild your connection.
Speaker A:You can renew your friendship and redeemed every lost year.
Speaker A:Right now we want to talk about what redeems time in our marriages.
Speaker A:You can begin today redeeming years of distance starting today.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:But not doing more just by walking in wisdom.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So we want to talk about what actually redeems time.
Speaker A:We want to get some practical tips.
Speaker A:Number one, we know that wisdom redeems time.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Proverbs chapter three tells us.
Speaker A:Wisdom brings length of days.
Speaker A:Wisdom can accomplish in what, 12 hours what takes others maybe 72 hours.
Speaker A:Make up numbers.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Because wisdom removes waste.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:You're not searching around trying to find the right way to do something.
Speaker B:Wisdom takes you right to exactly what you need to do and how you need to go about doing it.
Speaker B:It saves you so much time, it's amazing.
Speaker A:But let's caution you, don't let time work against your faith.
Speaker A:So in Mark, chapter nine, we know the story.
Speaker A:Jesus was teaching, and the family came in and there was a young man who was afflicted by an evil spirit.
Speaker A:And the evil spirit would try to kill him by making him throw himself into the fire.
Speaker A:And Jesus asked him a question that he usually didn't ask people.
Speaker A:He asked him, how long has this been happening?
Speaker A:And because sometimes we can get in the place where we've been in something so long, we can't see ourselves out of it, it's hard to believe our marriage can improve.
Speaker A:You might.
Speaker A:You bought into belief that, no, this is just how marriage is.
Speaker A:You get married and you do life and you.
Speaker A:We grow apart.
Speaker A:But you notice Jesus didn't panic.
Speaker A:In Mark, chapter nine, which just happened, Jesus didn't panic.
Speaker A:He was just bringing perspective.
Speaker A:And he said, how long has it happened?
Speaker A:He said, ever since he was a youth.
Speaker A:And we just came to you just see if he can do anything.
Speaker A:And Jesus said, if I can do anything right, Nothing is impossible to him that believes and commanded the spirit out of him.
Speaker A:The father wouldn't even work with him.
Speaker A:But the longer you're in something, the harder it can be to believe that change can happen.
Speaker B:We can't really see things having a Different outcome at first, but that's what wisdom does.
Speaker B:It will give you a whole different picture of what is possible.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So don't let the enemy use time against you.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:He'll say, it's too long.
Speaker A:It's just how it is.
Speaker A:Nothing would change.
Speaker A:But Jesus says it's not over.
Speaker B:It's not over.
Speaker B:You know, the Lord's always telling us, don't quit.
Speaker B:Don't give up.
Speaker B:If you persevere by doing it my way and not let the enemy talk you out of doing the right thing, you will see the desired result.
Speaker B:You'll see the harvest like you were talking about that you want to see in your marriage.
Speaker A:Very good.
Speaker A:So this is what will redeem time in your marriage.
Speaker A:This is what will make moments and connection in your marriage.
Speaker A:One intentional connection.
Speaker A:We have to have every day consistent connection with our spouses.
Speaker A:That is no distractions, no.
Speaker A:No phones, no televisions, no screens.
Speaker A:This one on one.
Speaker A:Focus, Teresa.
Speaker B:Yes, that's right.
Speaker B:It can be talking on the phone just to at least have a starting place.
Speaker B:But when you get to see each other face to face, whatever time of day, that works the best for you as a couple getting to talk.
Speaker B:Jeff said with no distractions, you're intentionally connecting with each other.
Speaker B:You're not letting everything pull you away.
Speaker B:The distractions and all the busyness we talked about.
Speaker B:You're actually focusing on each other, looking each other's eyes, holding hands, whatever helps you feel like you're really listening and talking to each other.
Speaker B:That's so important for every day to.
Speaker A:Have that time and consistent small deposits.
Speaker A:Our friends Trey and Lee Morgan have a great illustration.
Speaker A:They both are holding porcelain of piggy banks.
Speaker A:And he'll say something nice about her and she'll put a coin in her piggy banking.
Speaker A:You hear the clanging of the coin here.
Speaker A:Go in.
Speaker A:And she'll say something nice.
Speaker A:Or maybe she made him coffee and then he'll put a coin in his bank.
Speaker A:You're making small deposit into each other, but the illustration is do things to put deposits into the other to your spouse.
Speaker A:So that may be making coffee, may mean making a meal.
Speaker A:That may be doing a chore that they would normally do.
Speaker A:You do it.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:There's a sweet note, a sweet text.
Speaker A:Still sending real.
Speaker A:Send sweet texts.
Speaker A:I love you.
Speaker A:And so just consistent small deposits doesn't have to.
Speaker A:It doesn't have to be the Ruth Crisp Steakhouse every night.
Speaker A:It could just be.
Speaker A:It's just consistent small deposit.
Speaker A:And consistency is the key.
Speaker A:Isn't it, Teresa, it is like you.
Speaker B:Said, those big things, those fancy restaurant dates or whatever, those are nice, but that doesn't help.
Speaker B:You feel daily like your spouse cares for you.
Speaker B:Your spouse is paying attention to what is meaningful to you, what you like, what you don't like, and what really blesses you.
Speaker B:Like you said, those little things are the most important.
Speaker A:Just doing something nice to you for your spouse and spiritual unity is so important.
Speaker A:Praying together, it's like one of the most important things you can do as a couple.
Speaker A:It just depends on the time of the day when you have your connection.
Speaker A:It may be in the early in the morning, it may be at night, it may be some other time of the day.
Speaker A:But do what works for you, where you're not sleepy and you're not too tired, where you have that connection.
Speaker A:And it's so important to have focus, distraction, free time.
Speaker A:If you just got to go in a car and drive around the block so you can have some distraction, free time, yes, that is so important.
Speaker A:And we're not talking about hours.
Speaker A:We're talking about consistency over time.
Speaker B:So a little bit of time on a daily basis really goes a long way.
Speaker B:It's going to sow a lot into your marriage.
Speaker A:And we got to remove those time thieves.
Speaker A:You got to identify what's stealing your time.
Speaker A:Is it your phone?
Speaker A:Is it the computer?
Speaker A:Is it your iPad?
Speaker A:Is it busyness?
Speaker A:Is it television?
Speaker A:Is it Netflix?
Speaker A:Is it Amazon.
Speaker A:Streaming?
Speaker A:You gotta identify what's stealing your time.
Speaker B:Yeah, it might take some prayer to uncover some of that.
Speaker B:And it's not to tell your spouse all of this is stealing your time.
Speaker B:I think each of us needs to look at what we're doing individually and talk about it together so you can help each other tackle it together.
Speaker B:Okay, let's agree.
Speaker B:Let's come together and agree to set these things aside and set these other things aside that we see are taking up too much of our time, too much of our attention away from each other.
Speaker A:Maybe busyness, maybe just too busy.
Speaker A:You don't have to say yes to everything.
Speaker A:You have to have the power to say no.
Speaker B:Oh, yes, you don't have to do everything.
Speaker A:It can be too much.
Speaker B:There can just be too many good things that you have said that you're going to do for someone or you're going to go to certain meetings.
Speaker B:You're going to be a part of all these different activities.
Speaker B:You as parents can't do anything, or you as married couple can't do everything and your kids can't be involved in everything.
Speaker B:It really becomes overwhelming for the whole family.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Volunteering at the food bank and volunteering at the hospital and volunteering to be a big brother, those are all good things.
Speaker A:But you can't do that every night.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:You can't do everything.
Speaker B:Just pick one was good.
Speaker A:And we gotta get rid of distractions.
Speaker A:There's something distracting you.
Speaker A:You gotta get rid of it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Sometimes people have to remember not to bring all their work stuff home with them.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:I know that's got to be hard.
Speaker B:I haven't been in the work world for some decades.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:I think that's really a challenge for a lot of people.
Speaker B:They come home with all these care on their mind from everything happening at their jobs.
Speaker B:And we know there are pressures and things, but you've got to lay that all down.
Speaker B:Don't bring it into your marriage except to pray over those things, talk about it, and then say, okay, we're done with that.
Speaker B:Let's get on with what we need to do to spend quality time together.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You need to identify any kind of emotional avoidance.
Speaker A:If you just.
Speaker A:This is something yet you're going to have to identify yourself, like, okay, why am I having such a hard time being emotionally close to my husband?
Speaker A:Why am I having such a hard time opening up my heart to my wife and trying to identify the causes of those things and get some resolution to those things and without blaming and finger pointing, just get point where healing can occur.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Bring those things to the Lord together.
Speaker A:Apologize or forgive.
Speaker A:Apologize and forgive.
Speaker A:Extend mercy.
Speaker A:Receive mercy.
Speaker A:Extend grace.
Speaker A:Receive grace.
Speaker A:And just deal with it together.
Speaker A:Don't just say, I'll just.
Speaker A:I'll just deal with it myself.
Speaker A:No, deal with it together.
Speaker B:You deal with it together.
Speaker B:And like you said, without any blame or shame going on, just be able to admit I've had a problem with this and I need you to pray for me because I can see that it's shutting me down or it's keeping us from feeling close.
Speaker B:And that's what's so beautiful about your marriage.
Speaker B:God designed it to be a safe place where you can bring these things to one another and you can lay them down together and pray over them and let God just transform that situation, transform what you were feeling, how you were thinking, and restore that closeness.
Speaker A:You cannot redeem time while you're tolerating time.
Speaker A:Thieves.
Speaker B:That sounds like everybody needs that bumper sticker on their car.
Speaker A:So start today, we're talking about 10 minutes.
Speaker A:That 10 minutes that you could have wasted before we talked about before.
Speaker A:Let's talk about that.
Speaker A:10 Minutes.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:To create meaningful moments.
Speaker A:One meaningful conversation, one prayer together.
Speaker A:We're talking about 10 minutes a day.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Small, consistent effort, just consistent over time it will create a massive capital M A S S I V E massive restoration.
Speaker A:All caps there.
Speaker A:So Teresa, let's pray for those who have been listening to this podcast.
Speaker A:We thank you Father, in the name of Jesus, for everyone who's listening to this podcast.
Speaker A:We know how precious they are to you, how precious they are to us.
Speaker A:And we lift them up that you may give them wisdom to restore the years to fill their time with meaningful moments and connection.
Speaker A:Thank you Lord, to buy back what was stolen before and restore it.
Speaker A:We thank you Lord for making them best friends again.
Speaker A:In Jesus name, amen.
Speaker A:We're Jeff and Teresa.
Speaker A:This is Inspiring Marriages.
Speaker A:You can catch us on YouTube at the inspiring Marriages.
Speaker A:And we like to say God designed.
Speaker B:Husband and wife to be friends for.
