Bound by Love: The Essence of Colossians 3:14
Marriage is a testament to God's commitment to making us winners in life! In this episode, we dive deep into how love, unity, and unwavering faith empower us to overcome challenges and achieve greatness together. We're all about putting on love as our armor, which binds us in perfect harmony and lifts us in every endeavor. With God guiding our way, we aim to create a partnership filled with mutual respect and understanding. So grab your favorite snack, settle in, and get ready to celebrate the divine purpose behind our journey together!
Get ready for a fun and inspiring ride as Jeff and Teresa Fields kick off the second season of the Inspiring Marriages Podcast! They dive right into the heart of marriage and how it’s a beautiful testament to God’s commitment to making us winners. With over 32 years of marriage under their belts, these two share their wisdom, reminding us that love, unity, and unwavering faith are our secret weapons for overcoming life’s challenges. They playfully discuss how putting on love is like donning armor, creating a perfect bond that keeps couples strong and supportive in every adventure they tackle together.
In the episode, the Fields unpack Colossians 3:14, where they explore the idea of love being the ultimate bond of perfection. They break down the scripture in a fun way, highlighting how love isn’t just about feelings, but it’s about actions and choices that reflect our commitment to our spouses. Their witty banter and relatable stories keep listeners engaged and laughing, while also emphasizing the importance of mutual respect and understanding in a thriving partnership. This episode is a delightful blend of humor and heartfelt insights, making it clear that love is not just a word; it’s the very fabric that holds our marriages together.
As they share practical tips on nurturing selfless love, Jeff and Teresa encourage listeners to think about how they can actively support each other’s dreams and engage in small acts of kindness. Their light-hearted approach makes the topic of emotional intimacy feel accessible and enjoyable. By the end of the episode, you’ll be inspired to put on your love armor and transform your relationship into a vibrant partnership that reflects God’s love and purpose. So, buckle up and get ready to take notes on how to love better and live happier together!
Takeaways:
- Marriage is a reflection of God's commitment to making us winners in life, together.
- Through love and unity, we can conquer challenges and achieve greatness as a couple.
- Putting on love is like wearing armor, binding us in harmony and support.
- Our journey in marriage celebrates God's purpose, making us stronger every day.
Colossians 3:14
NKJV: “But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.”
NIV: “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect
unity.”
AMPC: “And above all these [put on] love and enfold yourselves with the bond of
perfectness [which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony].”
NRSVA: “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in
perfect harmony.”
NASB1995: “Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.”
EXB: “Even more than all this [Above all], clothe yourself in love, which ·holds you
all together in perfect unity [or binds everything together; L is the bond of
perfection/completeness].”
TPT: “For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues. Love becomes the mark of true maturity”
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.
Speaker A:We are Jeff and Teresa Fields and we are thrilled to have you with us today.
Speaker A:The incredible music that you heard in our intro was the incredible work of our very own son, Joseph Taylor Fields.
Speaker B:We've been happily married for 32amazing years.
Speaker B:Along the way, we've been blessed by three incredible children and we have a fantastic son in law and the most precious grandbaby you could imagine.
Speaker A:Get ready to be inspired as you open up about our journey.
Speaker A:Our mission is to ignite a spark in couples everywhere.
Speaker A:We're all about nurturing deep friendship and cultivating marriages that thrive in every way spiritually, emotionally, romantically and physically.
Speaker A:Join us on this incredible adventure.
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Speaker B:Visit us today.
Speaker A:Welcome to a special edition of the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.
Speaker A:Yay.
Speaker A:We are starting season two and we are dropping this podcast on Valentine's day.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:2025.
Speaker A:February 14th.
Speaker A:2025.
Speaker A:Which really marks our second season.
Speaker A:Starting our second season.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So we are so thankful for everyone who has.
Speaker A:Has given us encouragement and who have written emails or just seen us somewhere and say that they watched the podcast or listened to the podcast.
Speaker A:That encourages us so much.
Speaker B:It really does.
Speaker A:It really does.
Speaker A:So we're so.
Speaker A:We're so thankful for everyone who.
Speaker A:Who has contacted us and.
Speaker A:And continue to keep in contact with us.
Speaker A:So today we're going to start talking about Colossians 3:14.
Speaker A:We're going to start talking about love as we transition from intellectual intimacy.
Speaker A:And we're going to start into emotional intimacy.
Speaker A:But we need to talk about love.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And this is a perfect time to talk about love.
Speaker A:Valentine's Day.
Speaker A:Lovey dovey.
Speaker A:But we are bound by love.
Speaker A:And that's according to Colossians 3:14.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:Now, marriage is a testament to God's commitment to making winners in life.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:He wants us to win in life, doesn't he?
Speaker B:And win in marriage.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:So we believe that through love, unity and unwavering faith that we are empowered to overcome challenges and achieve greatness together.
Speaker A:By putting on love as you would armor, we bind ourselves in perfect harmony, supporting and uplifting each other in every endeavor.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:That's so great.
Speaker B:With God as our guiding force.
Speaker B:We strive to create a partnership that thrives on mutual respect, understanding, and an unbreakable bond.
Speaker B:This sounds so much like the series we've been talking about.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Our journey together is a celebration of God's divine purpose, making us stronger and more victorious each passing day.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:People should see God at work in our marriages.
Speaker B:It should be apparent to other people.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Your marriage is a perfect opportunity to display God's love and God's mercy and God's forgiveness, just how much he loves us.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:We can never explore the depths of God's love.
Speaker A:It is limitless.
Speaker B:Limitless.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So today we're going to talk about Colossians 3:14, and we're going to stay in Colossians 3:14 for this entire episode, but we're going to look at Colossians 3:14 from various translations, and we're going to dive into the meaning of some key words in this.
Speaker A:In this verse, the new King James Version says, but above all these things, put on love, which is the bond of perfection.
Speaker B:Mm, that's so good.
Speaker B:Niv says, and over all these virtues, put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Speaker B:And of course, if you look at this chapter, it does name a lot of virtues before it comes to this scripture.
Speaker A:The Amplified classic says, and above all these, put on love and enfold yourselves with a bond of perfectness, which binds everything together completely in ideal harmony.
Speaker B:Wow, that's a lot.
Speaker B:You have to read that over some more times.
Speaker B:You know, when you listen to this podcast, go back and read that over in the notes because that's so full.
Speaker B:What a full verse.
Speaker B:That is beautiful.
Speaker B:And the NRSVA translation says, above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Speaker B:So you could think of it as like putting on clothing.
Speaker B:We're going to put on love.
Speaker B:And I know there's another verse that tells us to put on Christ every day, so that's what it's talking about.
Speaker B:We're putting on the love of God.
Speaker A: The New American Standard: Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:And the Expanded Bible says it this way even more than all this.
Speaker B:Above all, clothe yourself in love, which holds you all together in perfect unity or binds everything together.
Speaker B:Love is the bond of perfection and completeness.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:The Passion translation says, for love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues.
Speaker A:Love becomes the mark of true maturity.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:That's really good.
Speaker B:You can walk in love, you're walking in maturity, right?
Speaker A:So let's just go back now.
Speaker A:We've read different translations of this of the same verse.
Speaker A:Let's go back and talk about some key words.
Speaker A:We're going to talk about bond, which is bond or mark that some, some verses use bond and some use mark.
Speaker A:But bond is like you could, it's.
Speaker A:It's like from the Aramaic.
Speaker A:It could be translated girdle of maturity.
Speaker A:So a girdle is something a lady might wear that really binds her, right?
Speaker B:It just for.
Speaker A:For ridiculous reasons.
Speaker A:Women are made to feel like they have to be smaller than they are.
Speaker A:So a girdle is something that will squeeze her tummy in, squeeze in her thighs, squeeze her bottom and just makes her hips look smaller.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:And just to, to try to smooth, smooth, smooth.
Speaker B:Look.
Speaker A:But it's, but it's something that binds.
Speaker A:So you can say it's like the foundation of a house.
Speaker A:It's like the walls of a house that holds the house to roof the house together.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:So that's what love is in a marriage.
Speaker A:Love is something that really bounds the marriage tightly together.
Speaker A:It really is.
Speaker A:It girdles undergirds the same word, us together.
Speaker A:And it's something that in a marriage, this love is essential.
Speaker A:It's an essential part of a marriage that really binds to two.
Speaker A:It's like, it's the same term like for like a ligament, how ligaments hold your joints together, right?
Speaker A:And you, and you all you guys know about the importance of ligaments because you hear about the ACL injuries in football on the knees where mcl, acl, how if that, if they tear that ligament, it could be a season long or career ending injury.
Speaker A:So you know how important those ligaments are holding that joint together, right?
Speaker A:So you have joints in your elbows, tendons in your elbow, you got tendons in your knees, you got tendons.
Speaker A:This all your key joints, all your, all your joints.
Speaker A:It's the ligaments that hold your bones together.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:It's not your muscles that hold your bones together, right?
Speaker A:It is your ligaments.
Speaker A:So that's how important this bond is.
Speaker A:That's how important love is.
Speaker A:Just to hold us together.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:It's like you don't see it, but it's there.
Speaker B:And it's extremely important.
Speaker B:Just like the limit ligaments, you don't see them, but they're extremely important to hold things together.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:So, so like the NRSVA says, love is the, is what Binds everything together in perfect harmony or perfection or completeness or maturity.
Speaker A:If you want a mature relationship, if you want mature marriage.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:It has to have the ingredient of love.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:And we're talking about unselfish love, you know, with no conditions like, I'll only love you if you do this, or I'll.
Speaker B:I'll love you until you do something I don't like.
Speaker B:You know, that's not the love we're talking about.
Speaker B:We're talking about.
Speaker A:Let's get into that.
Speaker A:Let's talk about that love.
Speaker A:So this love, so the world uses to love very freely.
Speaker B:Loosely.
Speaker A:It's a loosely.
Speaker B:It's loose and loosely.
Speaker A:It doesn't all mean the same thing.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker A:So I just looked up some.
Speaker A:Some words, some songs with the word love in the title and just picked some out.
Speaker B:Many, many.
Speaker A:Crazy in Love by Beyonce.
Speaker A:All you need is love by the Beatles.
Speaker A:I will always love you by Whitney Houston, sung at one time, but Dolly Parton one that.
Speaker A:That wrote it.
Speaker A:You lost that loving feeling by the Righteous Brothers.
Speaker B:Oh, yes, yes.
Speaker A:L O V E by Nat Kinko.
Speaker A:There's so many Love story by Taylor Swift.
Speaker A:There's so how deep is your love by the Bee Gees.
Speaker A:Just so many uses of that word love.
Speaker A:The English version of the word love.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And it doesn't all mean the same thing.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And so, like I said, I love God, I could say I love my wife.
Speaker A:I can say I love my children.
Speaker A:I could say I love pizza.
Speaker A:They all don't mean the same thing.
Speaker B:They don't all mean the same thing.
Speaker A:When I.
Speaker A:When I tell my.
Speaker A:My children I love you, it doesn't have this same connotation or the same meaning.
Speaker A:And so I look at my wife in the eyes and tell her I love you.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:It doesn't mean the same thing when I tell a sibling I love you.
Speaker A:My brother, one of my brothers, or my sister, or even my.
Speaker A:My brother or sister in loves.
Speaker A:If I tell them I love them, it's not the same thing as when I talk to Teresa.
Speaker A:It just isn't the same.
Speaker A:Right, Theresa?
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:That is so, so true.
Speaker B:And you wouldn't want it to be the same because those relationships are very different.
Speaker A:They're very different and they have different connotations.
Speaker A:So if that's right.
Speaker A:Well, we.
Speaker A:When we talk.
Speaker A:So we're going to talk about this word love.
Speaker A:This particular word, love, used in this verse is agape.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:Agape.
Speaker A:Love, which is, like Teresa was saying, a selfless love.
Speaker A:And if all the people, and I'm not going to put anybody down, if, if all the people in who wrote all these songs, and there's many, many, many, many more songs about love, many, many, many songs about love use the word love in the title.
Speaker A:If they all were talking about selfless love and they all knew and understood selfish love, then maybe they wouldn't have had the problems that they've had.
Speaker A:We don't have any satisfaction in that.
Speaker A:It's sad, but when you say, and I'm not picking on the writer of this song, all you need is love, or what kind of love are you talking about?
Speaker A:Are you talking about romantic love?
Speaker A:Are you talking about selfless love?
Speaker A:Which kind of love are you talking about?
Speaker A:So it, because it matters, does matter.
Speaker A:So this verse, like I said, it used the word, the Greek word agape.
Speaker A:And C.S.
Speaker A:lewis said, Agape, love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loves person's ultimate good.
Speaker A:Good as far as it can be obtained.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Just thinking about the other person's good is not based on your emotions.
Speaker A:It's not based on the emotions.
Speaker A:There are four major words in the Greek for love.
Speaker A:Now, agape, this term refers to a selfless sacrificial love that, that we should have for everyone, including our enemies.
Speaker A:It embodies the kind of love that compels Christians to act in the best interest of all human beings.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:It's the kind of love that would drive Jesus to allow himself to be crucified.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And torture, tortured and crucified, and be put to death on the cross.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:It's that self love.
Speaker B:Selfless sacrificial love.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:He gave us the ultimate example.
Speaker B:Oh yes.
Speaker B:So Matthew 5:44.
Speaker B:This is a quote from Jesus, speaking as Jesus taught, but I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you.
Speaker B:And he did exactly that.
Speaker B:He walked that out constantly during his final years of his life.
Speaker B:And of course, as you said, going all the way through the crucifixion and death to love all of humanity.
Speaker B:So awesome.
Speaker A:CS Lewis also said, though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not.
Speaker A:So we can, we can take great soulless and knowing that God loves us with a selfless love.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:And gave a great example for that.
Speaker A:And some people don't.
Speaker A:They'll think, well, God loves me, then there's no way he can send me to hell.
Speaker A:But God doesn't send anybody to hell.
Speaker A:No, he doesn't do that.
Speaker A:It's people's choice to reject.
Speaker A:To reject Jesus or accept him, Right?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Another word for love, it's really not found in the New Orleans is Eros.
Speaker A:This term refers to romantic love felt towards one spouse.
Speaker A:So it's this.
Speaker A:So this kind of love I have towards my spouse and my spouse has toward me.
Speaker A:It's not the kind of love I have for my children.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:It's just.
Speaker A:It's just a different type of love.
Speaker A:Mm STORGY S T O R G E this Greek word refers to love we have for our parents, siblings, our children, and other family members.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:Paul used this word in a negative in Romans 1:31 when he described the pagans he encountered as being without natural affection.
Speaker A:So this means affection.
Speaker A:So this is the kind of love that we have for your parents.
Speaker A:You have your siblings.
Speaker A:It has your children.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's not a bad love.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's a very affection.
Speaker B:That's like caretaking and meeting.
Speaker A:Family affection.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And having affection for them.
Speaker A:It's a family affection.
Speaker A:So it's.
Speaker A:It's a third type of love.
Speaker A:The fourth type of love used in.
Speaker A:In the Greek is philia P H I L I A And this is where we get the word.
Speaker A:Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love.
Speaker A:This term refers to feelings of brotherly love towards close friends.
Speaker A:It was used in the New Testament to describe Jesus love for his disciples, as in John 20, verse 2, as for Lazarus, John 11:3.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:So we actually see how these four uses of the word love.
Speaker A:The Holy Spirit inspired Paul to use the word agape in Colossians 3:14.
Speaker A:Let's read again.
Speaker A:So read this as agape, selfless love.
Speaker A:But above all these things, put on selfless love, which is the girdle of maturity.
Speaker B:Wow, that's good.
Speaker B:Girl of maturity.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:Disassociated with that.
Speaker A:With.
Speaker A:With a.
Speaker A:With a garment is something that.
Speaker A:That really binds you.
Speaker A:Is.
Speaker A:Is what girdles it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Really bounds or binds your marriage for perfection or maturity.
Speaker A:Completeness.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:A lot of times we see the word be perfect.
Speaker A:It means be complete.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Or mature.
Speaker A:Mature.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:So we have a quote by Mother Teresa here.
Speaker B:After these four kinds of love are described here.
Speaker B:She said, when you know how much God is in love with you, then you can live.
Speaker B:You can only live your life radiating that love.
Speaker B:So we can't give love that we haven't received from the Lord.
Speaker B:You know, we're not going to get that kind of love all the time from other people, even our spouses.
Speaker B:So we really need to draw first from God himself for this kind of love.
Speaker B:And that way we can live our life radiating that love.
Speaker A:That is so good.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:So listen, we want to encourage everyone, really, that this selfless love really has to be the foundation of.
Speaker A:Of our marriages.
Speaker A:It really has to be.
Speaker A:It's not.
Speaker A:Well, I did this for her today.
Speaker A:Now it's her.
Speaker A:Her turn to do something for me.
Speaker A:I did this for him.
Speaker A:Now it's time for him to do something for me.
Speaker A:You don't keep score.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Keep score in that way.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:So here are some practical tips of how to demonstrate selfless love towards your spouse.
Speaker A:Number one, you got to support each other's dreams.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That's so.
Speaker A:So sometimes, you know, your.
Speaker A:Your spouse may have a dream that may need you to sacrifice.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker B:And just put that ahead of what you wanted to do or what you wanted to set out to see in your life, but it becomes both of your dream.
Speaker B:If you're really doing this right, you know, it's not going to be his dream, her dream.
Speaker B:You know, everything's separated like that.
Speaker B:So, yeah, support each other's dreams.
Speaker B:I mean, I remember having a dream about being a songwriter and writing songs for the church.
Speaker B:That was my dream back when our kids were little, and I felt like I was having to put that on the back burner.
Speaker B:And you came to me somewhere along the way when the kids were still little and growing up, and said, I want to support you in this dream that you have of songwriting and seeing something done with these songs.
Speaker B:And, you know, ever since then, it was just like, I felt, like, undergirded.
Speaker B:I felt, like, lifted up in that area because I was getting so discouraged.
Speaker A:So she felt girded.
Speaker A:So it is unenger.
Speaker A:That's a good.
Speaker A:That's a good way to.
Speaker A:To describe it.
Speaker A:Selfless love is what undergirds our marriages and helps them to mature.
Speaker B:Exactly, Exactly.
Speaker A:Very good.
Speaker A:Another tip for practicing selfless love is do small acts of kindness for each other all the time.
Speaker A:That can be writing notes that can help.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:Do the other person's chores.
Speaker A:You can help make them.
Speaker A:Make them a meal.
Speaker A:Just do small acts of kindness.
Speaker A:Go out of your way.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Especially if you need to sacrifice.
Speaker A:Go out of your way to do something kind for your spouse.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's wonderful.
Speaker B:And it does get appreciated because you're not doing it to get something.
Speaker B:You're doing it to just bless and bless and bless your spouse.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's like, I'm not thinking about myself, I'm just thinking about you.
Speaker B:It's so sweet.
Speaker B:Oh, this was a big one.
Speaker B:Number three, forgiveness.
Speaker B:Wow, that's something.
Speaker B:You have to walk out every day, sometimes several times a day.
Speaker B:You know, maybe not towards your spouse, but towards everyone else in your life.
Speaker B:There.
Speaker B:There's going to be disappointments.
Speaker B:There's going to be things that, that were said or unsaid that.
Speaker B:Well, I'm not too happy about that.
Speaker B:I didn't like that.
Speaker B:You know, and you still have to say, lord, I forgive them.
Speaker B:I let it go.
Speaker B:And that.
Speaker B:That is just something that if you want to grow in maturity, you're going to have to do anyway as a believer.
Speaker B:Anybody knows that you cannot continue as a believer to grow if you're holding on forgiveness towards anybody.
Speaker B:So really, especially with your spouse, it's kind of the easiest to have friction sometimes or, you know, say, well, they didn't do what I thought they were going to do, and now I'm upset or now I'm kind of let down.
Speaker B:And, you know, that's.
Speaker B:We just have to exercise forgiveness and, you know, talk about these things, which we've been saying all through these series about into all the types of closeness in marriage and intimacy.
Speaker B:You have to talk about these things, but not come and say, well, I forgive you because you did this, this, this, you know, just got.
Speaker B:Throw it at them.
Speaker B:No, we just.
Speaker B:We forgive before the Lord and then we're not holding on to that anymore.
Speaker A:Don't hold on to it.
Speaker B:We're not.
Speaker B:We're just completely letting it go, turning over to God.
Speaker B:You don't even have to mention it to them.
Speaker B:Well, you made me mad when you.
Speaker B:But, you know, talking about if.
Speaker B:If there was something that wasn't right, you know, I was concerned about this or is upset about this, but I've already forgiven you.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's all done.
Speaker B:You know, that's.
Speaker B:That's so important because those things can really build up.
Speaker B:You know, a verse that ministered to me when I was still single.
Speaker B:Someone taught this.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:I would love to remember where the references.
Speaker B:But we could probably put it in the notes.
Speaker B:And it was about little foxes were the ones that spoiled the vines.
Speaker A:Well, the grapes.
Speaker B:Eating the grapes just a little at a time would spoil the whole thing.
Speaker B:But it was like those little things that you let eat away at you and Those little things that you let interfere with your relationship, that's what can spoil everything.
Speaker B:You don't want those little things to start adding up, building up in your heart and your mind, in your relationship together.
Speaker A:Song of Solomon 2, 15.
Speaker B:Oh, is it?
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker B:That's really good.
Speaker B:That's so important.
Speaker B:And I think that was taught in the context of forgiveness when I heard it taught years and years ago.
Speaker A:Another tip to help demonstrate selfless love is prioritize your spouse's needs, give them priority as.
Speaker A:And you go back to some previous episodes.
Speaker A:We talked in depth about the main needs of a wife and the main needs of a husband.
Speaker A:You can go on to search Jimmy Evans videos and he talks extensively about the needs of a husband and the needs of a wife.
Speaker A:A wife needs, she needs security.
Speaker A:A man needs honor.
Speaker A:A wife needs soft, non sexual affection.
Speaker A:Husband needs physical affection.
Speaker A:A wife needs spiritual leadership.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:A husband needs companionship.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:And it goes on and on.
Speaker A:Different wives and husbands, they're different needs.
Speaker B:All the way down first, second, third, fourth.
Speaker B:I mean, they're different.
Speaker B:So you can't say, well, their most important need is the same thing as mine.
Speaker B:Because men and women, women are not the same.
Speaker B:We are not designed the same way at all.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But a marriage that has, is, has, is bounded with selfless love.
Speaker A:When you have put on selfish love as you would a blouse or a shirt or jacket or a coat, when you put on the selfless love, it is what will undergird your marriage and be a solid foundation for your marriage.
Speaker A:So when you do that together, you will prioritize your spouse's needs even above your own.
Speaker B:And the more you practice it, the more it's just like, becomes the right thing to do.
Speaker B:You don't even have to pre think about it and plan it out like, yeah, of course, you know, I'm going to meet their needs first before even thinking about my needs getting met, you know, may not even, you know, you won't even have to think about your own needs being met because your spouse will be doing the same thing for you.
Speaker B:But we're not doing it to get something.
Speaker B:We're doing it because it's love.
Speaker B:Love gives.
Speaker A:Love gives.
Speaker A:Love gives.
Speaker A:Our fifth tip this week on how to demonstrate selfless love is sacrificing comfort.
Speaker A:Sometimes you just have to sacrifice your plans or things that you plan to do around the house or just being comfortable.
Speaker A:Yeah, well, but what that speaks to your spouse is I love you so much and I want, I want to bless you any way I can.
Speaker A:I am willing to just give up my comfort to speak to a need that you have or just to show you that I love you.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker B:And when you mentioned that, I was thinking about how we were just talking in the last episode and the, in that series we were finishing up how we recommended, you know, try a new hobby together.
Speaker B:Start a new hobby together and do something you haven't done before.
Speaker B:And, you know, it could be something that you're not particularly crazy about, but if your spouse really wants to do that, like build a birdhouse together out of wood and nails and everything, whatever it is, just say, yeah, I'll do that with you.
Speaker B:Because that's a great way for us to spend time together and enjoy being together and keep building our friendship.
Speaker B:You know, that's the most important thing.
Speaker B:Are we investing in each other, investing in our marriage so you can give up a little comfort?
Speaker B:You know, you don't have to watch that show on TV or, you know, just stay home and, and eat snacks or whatever.
Speaker B:You get out and do something fun together.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:That's just, just a great way, kind of refresh your marriage.
Speaker B:Try something new.
Speaker A:Our sixth tip this week on how to demonstrate selfless love is have quality time together.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So quality time is, you know, it's just, it's just that quality time.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Part of our, probably our main friendship builder is having a time every day.
Speaker B:To talk and time to talk and.
Speaker A:It'S just a way of, of just being selfless and just having quality time together to talk or to share or just go over anything that the other spouse needs, needs to talk about or do.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Do something with the other.
Speaker A:It can be going shopping together, it can be going to the grocery store together.
Speaker A:It can be Teresa going to Home Depot with me, or it could be me going to Hobby Lobby.
Speaker B:Lobby with me.
Speaker A:Teresa.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:I mean, it could be a, a variety of things, which is the quality time is the important part where you're just spending time together, just enjoying each other's conversations and the fellowship and just enjoying each other.
Speaker A:Just quality time.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:And these are just, just a, a few of many, many, many practical tips that.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker A:You probably have your own.
Speaker A:And so why don't you drop us a line?
Speaker A:You can send us an email.
Speaker A:Inspiring Marriages, tnt.net or you can leave us a message on Facebook or Instagram.
Speaker A:Instagram or however you wanted to do that.
Speaker A:Or you can leave a message on our YouTube channel.
Speaker A:How do you practice selfless Love.
Speaker A:What does your spouse do for you that lets you know that they love you?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So we can see that selfish love, which is also agape love.
Speaker A:It has to be the foundation that holds our marriages together.
Speaker A:It has to be the foundation on which we mature.
Speaker A:We.
Speaker A:Right as our relationship continues to mature, continues to grow, this is the selfless love that agape love that we have to put on that provides the foundation for our marriage.
Speaker A:It's really the only thing that will bring our marriage into maturity.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:So next week, as we continue on our series on intimacy, we're going to start talking about emotional intimacy.
Speaker B:That'll be a rich series, won't it?
Speaker A:It's gonna be a rich series.
Speaker A:Exciting news.
Speaker A:Catch our audio podcast on Apple podcasts, Spotify and Amazon podcast.
Speaker A:We would love to hear your thoughts.
Speaker A:So please leave us a review.
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Speaker A:Join us wherever and however you prefer to tune in this week's friendship builder.
Speaker A:So this week's developing intimacy friendship builder is write each other a love letter.
Speaker A:So, all right, guys, it's time to buckle up, buckos.
Speaker A:Put on your big boy pants, get out that pen and paper and write.
Speaker A:Not text, not email.
Speaker B:Oh, no.
Speaker A:But write your sweetie a love letter.
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker B:And, girls, you can find some flowery paper or hearts all over it.
Speaker B:Whatever you want to do.
Speaker B:Write your man a sweet love letter.
Speaker A:You put perfume on it, girls.
Speaker B:Oh, that's right.
Speaker A:You've seen the movies where the guy gets a letter and they all smell the letter.
Speaker A:Perfume.
Speaker B:I can tell it's.
Speaker B:And perfume.
Speaker A:You.
Speaker A:You've seen the movies and the TV shows when they've.
Speaker B:They've done that, that's how they would know who it's from.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker B:It didn't say on the outside they recognized the lady's perfume.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:So, I mean, it doesn't have to be surprises.
Speaker A:We're talking about it, right?
Speaker A:Just sit down.
Speaker A:It doesn't have to be elaborate.
Speaker A:Just sit down and just write your sweetie a love letter.
Speaker B:That's perfect for Valentine's Day.
Speaker B:Just expressing your gets you in the.
Speaker A:Habit of writing notes, feelings, and thoughts.
Speaker B:About your spouse, how much you admire and love and appreciate them.
Speaker B:You can tell me you adore me.
Speaker B:That'd be all right.
Speaker A:I do adore you, honey.
Speaker B:So sweet and I admire you exceedingly.
Speaker A:High praise indeed.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:I'm sorry.
Speaker A:We're quoting Jane Austen.
Speaker A:That's something we do, so.
Speaker B:Something we do that's fun.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker A:Sorry.
Speaker A:Something that really speaks to Teresa's heart is for me to watch Jane Austen movies with her.
Speaker A:So it speaks to her heart.
Speaker A:I guess I never thought about being a selfless act of love.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:I mean.
Speaker B:Yeah, it is.
Speaker A:How about.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker A:There you go.
Speaker A:I've been doing all the time and.
Speaker B:Then all the time time.
Speaker A:So just have fun with it and just write each other a sweet note or, you know, a letter and just get in the habit of writing each other notes and just leave them for each other.
Speaker A:It just.
Speaker A:It's just a blessing to.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:For your.
Speaker A:Your spouse will be blessed that you took the time and that you were thinking about them and you wrote them a letter.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:You can even tuck it into your Valentine's Day card or put it.
Speaker B:Tag it onto a box of candy or something that you know your spouse likes.
Speaker B:Of course, for guys, it won't be candy, but it'd be something else you want to gift him.
Speaker B:Maybe you made some cookies and you want to add that love letter to.
Speaker B:To your honey for your husband.
Speaker B:That would be sweet.
Speaker A:That would be sweet.
Speaker A:So get out the pen and paper and write your sweetie and love letter.
Speaker B:Stay connected with us across all platforms.
Speaker B:Join our vibrant community on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.
Speaker B:Make sure to like, follow and subscribe for the latest updates and behind the scenes moments.
Speaker A:Got something on your mind?
Speaker A:Shoot us an email@inspiringmarriagest.net we're all ears for your questions or suggestions on how to enhance our podcast and if you have any ideas on topics you'd love us to dive into next, let's keep the conversation going.
Speaker A:And always remember, husband and wife are friends for life.
