Communication is Key: Unlocking the Joys of Marriage
Today, we’re diving into the juicy world of Christian marriage, and trust me, it’s not just about the vows and cake! We’re chatting with the amazing Pastor Will and Sister Rita Goriola, who’ve been rocking their marriage for almost 29 years. They’re all about communication—yep, that crucial ingredient that can make or break any relationship. We’ll explore how to speak truth in love, make our messages heard, and even dodge those pesky misunderstandings. So grab your favorite snack, settle in, and let’s sprinkle some wisdom on how to keep those marriage fires burning bright! Communication in marriage is like the secret sauce that makes everything taste better. Pastor Will and Sister Rita Goriola share their journey of 29 years of marriage, sprinkled with wisdom and a dash of humor. They talk about how vital it is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner. It's not just about talking; it's about listening too. They emphasize that speaking truth in love can transform conversations. You know, instead of saying, "You never help me!" try, "Hey, could you lend a hand?" It’s way more likely to get a positive response and keep the peace. They dive into personal stories, showing that even seasoned couples face challenges and misunderstandings. They remind us that marriage is a partnership, and good communication is the glue that holds it all together. So, grab your partner, tune in, and let’s learn how to chat like pros and keep that love light shining bright!
Takeaways:
- Communication in marriage is key; without it, misunderstandings can lead to big problems.
- Speaking truth in love is crucial for healthy relationships; honesty wrapped in kindness works wonders.
- Listening actively is more important than talking; God gave us two ears for a reason, folks!
- It's not just about saying the right words, but also about how we say them to our partners.
- Being quick to listen and slow to speak can prevent many arguments and foster better connections.
- Marriage is a covenant that flourishes when both partners commit to open, honest dialogue.
Transcript
Well, amazing.
Speaker B:As you can see on the screen, our next very special guest.
Speaker B:They're very dear to us.
Speaker B:We got in contact with them about.
Speaker A:At least a couple of years.
Speaker B:11.
Speaker A:We moved to Texas.
Speaker B:Oh, before we moved to Texas.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Speaker B:Pastor Wales and sis and Sister Rita Goriola, there are pastors of Bliss and Fire Church and Network over in Garland, Texas.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:They didn't start out as Texans, but they're Texans now.
Speaker C:Yes, we are.
Speaker B:They are spirit filled believers reaching out globally to men and women, bringing them out of darkness so they can enjoy the glorious light and liberty of the Son of God, Jesus Christ.
Speaker B:They would be married for 29 years in October.
Speaker B:Let's go ahead.
Speaker B:Hey.
Speaker B:So we are so happy to have them.
Speaker B:I tell you, they are so special to us.
Speaker B:There's young men, their sons are, there's high quality men.
Speaker A:They really are.
Speaker A:They are taking territory for the kingdom too.
Speaker B:So we've been in contact for I guess around 15 years.
Speaker B:And once we moved to Texas, we were invited to participate into their gathering, the gathering of the Sons of God over there in, in Dallas.
Speaker B:And they're special people.
Speaker B:And so we'll turn this over to you, Pastor Wells, Pastor Rita, and we look forward to hearing what you have to say.
Speaker B:Thank you so much.
Speaker B:And if anyone has any questions for them, just pop it in the chat.
Speaker C:All right, so thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker C:Wonderful.
Speaker C:It's really, it's an honor to be with you all and especially been invited by Jeff and Teresa.
Speaker C:And since we've been connected like you said about 15 years ago, and the love has been always increasing, I mean, the love of Christ that we've been demonstrating together and, and, and been the, the connection at the network has been, has been just fantastic.
Speaker C:And we, we have been blessed with it and with the kind of community and the hearts that you always demonstrated.
Speaker C:We are really so happy to be part of this event and to be able to share our experience, to talk about communication and all those.
Speaker C:But likewise my wife, she has so much to also say.
Speaker A:Thank you so much for having us today.
Speaker A:We are so honored.
Speaker A:We are so blessed.
Speaker A:We are so thankful.
Speaker A:And I so, so, so bless God for you, Jeff and Teresa, for God ministering to you and you starting this ministry as the Lord lead you, I pray the Lord continue to strengthen and guide you.
Speaker A:I pray this mission that the Lord placed in your hand will be a blessing to many marriage singles and even those who are still seeking and those marriages that are in trouble.
Speaker A:And I'm honored to be here.
Speaker A:I am Sister Rita Gorilla.
Speaker A:And that's my lovely husband, Pastor Will Gorilla will be married going to 29 years a month from now.
Speaker A:Hey, we're blessed with two boys, two young men.
Speaker A:We thank God and God has been doing amazing things in our life.
Speaker A:We thank God we came all the way from Nigeria and now like you said, we at HENS, we've been here for 25 years plus.
Speaker A:And we thank God for what God is doing in our lives and through the ministry, our lives and the ministry and the vision that God have placed in our hand has touched so many lives all over the world.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:And as you know, you've been to our conference before.
Speaker A:The Lord has led us to ignite his love, to spread his love, to bring people together.
Speaker A:It's not just for one place, but all over the world.
Speaker A:So we are blessed.
Speaker A:We're going to be talking about communication today.
Speaker A:I'm going to let pastor go ahead and start off.
Speaker C:That's wonderful.
Speaker C:Like we've heard from a man of God, your pastor over there, Pastor Johnson.
Speaker C:It's been, I mean, the reward was so powerful and amazing even for them to be able to share their personal experience also, which has been a blessing.
Speaker C:And even ourselves too, will be definitely sharing our personal experience.
Speaker C:Because there is in marriages, it's not only what you learn.
Speaker C:I mean, what you, what we read, how we have, we have come long in Christianity or the word of God, the ways of God, or how we have been able to practicalize those things and manifest it out.
Speaker C:Because people can read the world, but are they reading the world in us, in our marriage?
Speaker C:So we're going to be talking about that and also will be more around how we communicate together because we see that communication is very important, just like you share with us.
Speaker C:And for myself, like I've mentioned in the pastor here, I said if somebody would have told me to, to speak on marriage when we were five years in marriage as I'll turn it down.
Speaker C:Actually, I turned some down then.
Speaker C:Even though I preach, I go, you know, do it or other things in the ministry.
Speaker C:But when it comes to, oh, let's talk about the experience or what, what you have to say about marriage, I'm mostly just saying, well, excuse me for now, we babies.
Speaker C:The reason then was that I was just waiting for the first 10 years so I can be able to say what it's being marriage.
Speaker C:Am I being able to position myself into this, in this union and demonstrated what I preach and what the word of God said.
Speaker C:So but after 10 years, right when, when we reached 10 years celebrated 10 years.
Speaker C:I said, oh yeah, now I can talk about it.
Speaker C:And then, you know, being able to start putting.
Speaker C:Even in our events, if you remember when we started event, we didn't actually discuss about marriage until when we get to our 10 years, we start having a marriage discussion and seminar within the gathering.
Speaker C:So marriage, like you, like the man of God also has discussed with us today we see that marriage, it's a big covenant, a confidence that God lay down.
Speaker C:God is a.
Speaker C:Is the author of it all.
Speaker C:And we cannot keep this covenant if we cannot come, if we can, if we are unable to communicate.
Speaker C:The communication is so important.
Speaker C:It shows our expression and being able to understand.
Speaker C:Because if there's no understanding, then there's no communication per se, if I'll put it that way.
Speaker C:So I. I would definitely want.
Speaker C:I want to share like some.
Speaker C:I would say some few points, some strategic points which me, myself and my wife and some other people were spoken to in many times will be able to demonstrate.
Speaker C:And we know those things are the things that will be really, really key point that can help us in our relationship with one another in the in.
Speaker C:In our unit, in our love towards another.
Speaker C:By standing army, by demonstrating both, both the strengthen our relationship and also having.
Speaker C:Strengthen our intimidation, intimacy and then the law strengthen our love and also faith.
Speaker C:Being able to.
Speaker C:To strengthen our faith even through our communication.
Speaker C:Because one way or the other, if we are not doing getting all those things done as a believer, then we're going to be drawing ourselves back instead of moving forward in Christ.
Speaker C:If we in our communication, we will not be able to grow in faith in our communication.
Speaker C:We are not be able to grow in the love of God and demonstrate the love of God more.
Speaker C:And also in our communication.
Speaker C:If we are not strengthen our intimacy with one another, then we are failing in that aspect.
Speaker C:I know like I said, other speakers already touch a lot of things.
Speaker C:But I want to start with these points that said that speaking truth in love, speaking truth in love with one another, speaking truth in one, in love towards another.
Speaker C:I believe is a key point in our relationship and communicating with one another.
Speaker C:If what we are sharing with one another, if we are not able to speak the truth, then the union is in problem.
Speaker C:That's true because there are instances where you see many people, even believers, ministers, that you find out that they're doing something totally different that to the wife it's like, does it happen?
Speaker C:Is it my wife, my husband, is it in this family?
Speaker C:Because the person totally do that thing outside the union, outside the relationship.
Speaker C:And so the communication is not there.
Speaker C:Maybe things that could be good for both, for the, for the, for the union, but you're not still communicating it.
Speaker A:And they're not truthful.
Speaker C:So that means they're not truthful in love then.
Speaker C:Because if outsider can know about it and your partner cannot know about it, then there's a problem.
Speaker C:And those problems still lie in communication.
Speaker C:Because if you're able to communicate with one another, it will not get to the level in which.
Speaker C:And outside I would know about it, but your, your spouse don't know about it, you know, so love, I mean, speaking truth in love is so important in that way.
Speaker C:An example also will be in a way where, where you relate with one another.
Speaker C:You speak, you want to tell your husband, or you want to tell your spouse a particular thing and you believe that thing will hurt.
Speaker C:Or it may not be something they can easily accept easily, but if it's the truth, you still have to speak it.
Speaker C:So the only thing that will be speaking that word in a lovely way, in a way that when he's presented with love and in love, then the acceptance will be easier because they're not saying only that word, but they're saying the love that is wrapped in, in it.
Speaker C:That is wrapped in it, you know, just like efficient.
Speaker C:Tell of efficient.
Speaker C:I would say efficient.
Speaker C:Four, 15, you know, he said, but speaking the truth in love may grow, may grow up into him in all things, which is the end, even, even Christ.
Speaker C:So speaking the, the in love, I mean, truth in love doesn't only mean that you speak it to others outside as a word of God, but also demonstrating it with your, with your spouse not being able to speak the word in truth.
Speaker A:And then like he was saying the example that I have when he was saying speaking in love and speaking it in truth.
Speaker A:You know, just like we women, the wives, sometimes we want our spouse to help us and things in the house or things with the kids, they are the way we say it in love to our husband.
Speaker A:So it won't be in a hostile way.
Speaker A:They won't, they won't receive it in a way of being like an instruction or something like example that we have here.
Speaker A:He said, like I'm saying to my husband, like, you never help me with anything, things like that.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:But if I feel overwhelmed, you never help me with anything.
Speaker A:But the way we can say better can be, can you please?
Speaker A:Or is there any way you can do this?
Speaker A:But you know, we're speaking it with the love and it will be accepted or to Be heard by our partner in a more tone loving way.
Speaker A:And then they can be accepted.
Speaker C:So see, just exactly what she just said.
Speaker C:Now it's like me, you know, I'm a kind of person.
Speaker C:I work in technologies.
Speaker C:Most place taken to computer trying to deal with one code or the other writing something.
Speaker C:And you can hear my wife going, I'm just giving an example.
Speaker C:Like let's say my wife now go reader, go to the kitchen and do something and say.
Speaker C:And see the kitchen dirty and saying, well honey, mostly you call me sweetheart.
Speaker A:Sweetheart.
Speaker C:You just make all these things dirty.
Speaker C:You're not doing anything, you know, you know, in that way, definitely I'm not going to leave the computer.
Speaker C:I'm going to say, man, what, why are you saying all this?
Speaker C:That would be my word.
Speaker C:What will I say?
Speaker C:I know she used to say this.
Speaker C:You say, would somebody just please help do this in the kitchen?
Speaker C:Boys or their big dad.
Speaker C:And I'm like, okay, so I can sneak myself in there and then take care of it.
Speaker C:Or even the boy will say, no, I'm going to take care of it.
Speaker C:I'm talking about, I mean, so a son that is around.
Speaker C:So that's really very important the way you approach your communication in that way.
Speaker C:Another thing is to be, to be quick in listening was slow to speak.
Speaker C:I see this as very, very important because if we're quick, if, if we're not quick to, to listening, it will lead to quarreling, it will lead to arguments and then sparing up like that.
Speaker C:And things may not work right like that.
Speaker C:And we know James tells us the book of James, chapter one, I believe, chapter one, verse 19.
Speaker C:He said, wherefore my brethren, my beloved brethren, he said, let every man be sweet to hear him.
Speaker C:Slow to speak and slow to rot, you see?
Speaker C:So that when used when you want to relate things, try not to just be the one that will quit and jump into to.
Speaker C:To make the thing heated.
Speaker C:So make it heated like that.
Speaker C:No, try always try to be bringing it down, bringing the tone down.
Speaker C:Ready to listen?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I'll give you an instance.
Speaker C:There are many instances where it may be my wife, that reader will be the one talking over something.
Speaker C:When I see that maybe our voice is up, I'll just like, okay, listen, you get what I'm saying?
Speaker C:Just listen to really get work.
Speaker C:Because if she's, if you're not listening, then you, you, you, you, you're not making that person feel good.
Speaker C:It's like, oh, I'm saying all this and you're ignoring us and you're ignoring me.
Speaker C:Another good example will be when I'm watching some, maybe some things that I love to watch on the tv.
Speaker C:And that is when it is causing something important.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker C:And I was like, oh, man.
Speaker C:And I. I want to.
Speaker C:Want to continue listening, but also want to watch what I'm doing.
Speaker C:But in most cases, what do I do?
Speaker C:I just.
Speaker C:Okay, I'll just pause the whole thing and say, okay, I'll probably go back to watch it or I'll miss that.
Speaker C:So I'll slow it down or pause it and say, okay, you know, to give the attention.
Speaker C:To give all those things.
Speaker C:Because I know that's important.
Speaker C:Because if you don't do, they'll be like, I'm just saying everything, you know.
Speaker C:So most time it's mostly good when you keep it eye focused.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker C:You know?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker C:To be able to get out the eye focus when you give me attention.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker C:You know, if I can add to.
Speaker A:What he said, he said we should be quick.
Speaker A:We should listen and we should not like, interrupt.
Speaker A:But.
Speaker A:But again, we have to pay attention.
Speaker A:Like you are with your spouse or you are in a relationship, or you are with your girlfriend or your boyfriend.
Speaker A:You go out and they are speaking.
Speaker A:You don't want to be on your phone.
Speaker A:You don't want to be maybe looking at something on your ipod.
Speaker A:They want your attention.
Speaker A:Even then they are speaking.
Speaker A:Because sometimes it was like, are you even listening to me?
Speaker A:It was like, oh, yeah, yeah, I'm listening.
Speaker A:And you're kind of like, I don't think you're listening.
Speaker A:You might be hearing me, but you're not listening.
Speaker A:So it's always good to listen because that's why God gave us two ears.
Speaker A:He said he gave us two ears to listen and one mouth to speak.
Speaker A:So God is very, very, very.
Speaker A:He's a good father.
Speaker A:He gave us that for a purpose.
Speaker A:One month.
Speaker A:That means one month.
Speaker A:If we have too much, we'll be speaking with too much.
Speaker A:He wants us to be quiet these two years, to listen before we speak.
Speaker A:Because in the middle, why somebody else is speaking and you're speaking, it can be misunderstood and there can be a confrontation and there can be an argument.
Speaker A:So that's why when somebody else is speaking, the person wants a full attention.
Speaker A:Even if you're watching TV or reading a book or maybe sometimes somebody's praying and you want to speak.
Speaker A:That's not possible.
Speaker A:The person is praying.
Speaker A:You have to let them finish before you kind of like, mom, Mom, I want.
Speaker A:This is like, hold on, hold on.
Speaker A:You know, even when our kids are growing up, you teach them that way.
Speaker A:So that also has to be in a relationship, we have to give a hundred percent attention to whoever is speaking.
Speaker A:Is it at the husband or the wife or either in a relationship with your friend or co workers?
Speaker A:Because a lot of that while we listen, we diffuse if there is a tension, we make the person know that you're giving them the full attention, you're understanding, you're grasping what they're talking about.
Speaker A:And the word of God says that right there, that he has just read in the book of Is it efficient?
Speaker A:Yeah.
