Hey Younger Me, Here’s What You Need to Know About Marriage
Get ready to dive into a heart-to-heart chat where we spill the beans on the three golden nuggets of wisdom we'd share with our younger, single selves to gear up for the big M-word: marriage! It's all about laying a solid foundation anchored in faith, friendship, and a sprinkle of humor. Whether you're single, engaged, or just dreaming of your future spouse, these life-changing principles will totally inspire and challenge you. We’ll keep it real and relatable, sharing our own journey and the lessons we've learned along the way. Trust me, you don’t want to miss this—it's all about prepping your heart and soul for a Christ-centered love that lasts!
Picture this: you could hop in a time machine and chat with your younger self about preparing for marriage. That's what we're diving into! We're sharing three nuggets of wisdom that we wish we could go back and whisper in our own ears. These aren't just random tips; they're solid principles steeped in scripture that can help anyone—single, engaged, or even already married—build a sturdy foundation for a Christ-centered relationship. From nurturing your personal relationship with God to focusing on your overall health, you'll find that the journey to marriage is not just about romance, but about becoming the best version of yourself. So, grab a comfy seat, maybe a snack, and let's get ready to inspire our past selves!
Takeaways:
- First off, pursue God daily, it's like your spiritual workout that preps you for marriage!
- Invest in your whole self—physically, emotionally, and financially. A healthy you means a happy us!
- Serving others is key! Marriage is about putting each other first, so start now!
- Don't just wish for the perfect partner, work on being the partner you want!
- Remember, it's all about building habits before marriage that will carry you through!
- Get ready to embrace the joys of serving and growing together as a couple!
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.
Speaker A:This is the podcast that helps Christian couples cultivate friendship, intimacy and faith filled love that lasts.
Speaker A:Today's episodes we're sharing from the heart three things I would tell my younger self to prepare for Christian marriage.
Speaker A:These aren't just tips, they're life giving principles rooted in scripture and designed to help you lay a strong foundation for your future marriage.
Speaker B:Whether you're single, engaged or already married and seeking renewal, this conversation will challenge and encourage you.
Speaker A:We are Jeff and Teresa Fields and we're thrilled to have you with us today.
Speaker B:We've been happily married for an amazing 33 years.
Speaker B:Along the way, we've been blessed with three incredible grown children, a fantastic son in law and the most precious grandbaby you could imagine.
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Speaker A:Teresa Just imagine you can go back into a time machine and you can talk to your younger single self.
Speaker B:Oh boy.
Speaker A:And you were given the opportunity to tell you yourself three things.
Speaker A:Prepare for marriage.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker A:Makes you think, doesn't it?
Speaker B:It does make me think.
Speaker B:What would I say that I know now that I didn't know then?
Speaker A:So were you married, engaged, dating or just praying for your future spouse?
Speaker A:They these truths will help you prepare not just for marriage, but for Christ centered covenant.
Speaker A:So Teresa, what's one thing you would tell your younger self if you got an opportunity to tell your younger single self something to prepare yourself for marriage?
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:I think that you would have to make sure that you're a mature Christian and not just a baby Christian, you know, to grow up in the Lord.
Speaker B:So we do have a really great point here.
Speaker B:Pursue God daily.
Speaker B:So it's very powerful to have a daily time of spending time with the Lord, spending time in the word, praying about everything.
Speaker B:So if you have a consistent quiet time that's going to help you develop and you know, get wisdom from God that you're going to need for your future.
Speaker B:I mean we all know that God will give us wisdom if we ask him and he wants to show us things before we need them.
Speaker B:He's not telling us just what we need at the moment.
Speaker B:He's showing us things for our future.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:One of the greatest gifts that we can bring to a marriage is our personal relationship with Christ.
Speaker A:And don't wait until you marry to develop this relationship.
Speaker A:Prioritize daily Bible study and prayer to anchor your identity and decisions.
Speaker A:Start doing that now.
Speaker A:And even if you're already married, you can still apply these truths.
Speaker A:You can always.
Speaker A:So maybe, maybe you don't have a consistent quiet time in your.
Speaker A:And you're married start.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker B:Oh, yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:You can always start.
Speaker A:Build a habit of listening to God before reacting to emotions.
Speaker B:Wow, that's helped me a lot.
Speaker B:I've.
Speaker B:I know the Lord has kind of taught me that just on the spot, most of the time, like before I try to react to something or even have a chance to react, he's like, wait, stop and think.
Speaker B:Talk to me about this.
Speaker B:You know, don't just react.
Speaker B:Don't try to come up with something to deal with the situation.
Speaker B:You got to stop and get control of your emotions.
Speaker B:Because if you're just reacting out of emotions to your spouse or your fiance or someone that you're dating, there's probably going to be some hurtful things happening there.
Speaker B:Instead of you waiting and.
Speaker B:And checking your emotions and thinking about something before you say it.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Marriage is a great way of revealing your greatest weaknesses.
Speaker A:You can't hide from your spouse.
Speaker A:You know, unfortunately, dating in the Western culture, it's a lot of hiding and right.
Speaker A:It's putting up your best.
Speaker A:Your best.
Speaker A:You always look your best.
Speaker A:You always speak your best, you always act your best.
Speaker A:Because then you can go home and just scream into your pillow or whatever and fuss all the way home, I can't believe she said that.
Speaker A:I can't believe he did that.
Speaker A:Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker A:But marriage, you can't hide that.
Speaker B:No, you can't hide that you're in the same house, but it all comes out right.
Speaker A:Spending time with God equips you with grace and strength.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:Yes, it does.
Speaker B:It really does.
Speaker B:And like you said, even if you're already married and you would like things to be better, he will equip you when you seek him for that strength, when you seek him for that grace.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:I mean, the scripture tells us he.
Speaker B:We can come to him boldly for grace to help in time of need.
Speaker B:And when you're married and you're dealing with issues in your marriage, or with kids, you have a lot of times of need, you're going to need grace to walk these things out.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So in your single life, that is the best time to establish.
Speaker B:Oh, yes.
Speaker A:This consistent pursuit of God daily.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because you're not responsible for anyone else but yourself when you're single.
Speaker B:Not.
Speaker B:Not like you are in a marriage where you have that relationship.
Speaker B:And as you said, you can't get away from that.
Speaker B:You're in that relationship.
Speaker B:And when you're single, you can manage your own life and make those choices, how to spend your time and how much of your time to spend to devote to God.
Speaker B:Some people decide to come go to Bible college before they get married, so they get a really great foundation and find out what God's calling them to do before they get married.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's really important.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:Matthew 6:33.
Speaker A:Jesus told us, seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and then all these things shall be added to you.
Speaker A:So it's always, put God first is a priority.
Speaker A:It's a great time when you're single to start that.
Speaker A:That character building.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I'm so glad I actually did that.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:Now I could look back and think I could have even sought him more.
Speaker B:But I'm so glad that you.
Speaker B:You and I both had that habit.
Speaker A:So what's one thing you wish someone had told you before you got married?
Speaker A:Drop us an email at Inspiring Marriages.
Speaker A:T. Teresa.
Speaker A:The second thing I think I would have told myself is to concentrate on my whole health, physical, mental, and financial readiness.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:So being marriage ready means you're investing yourself.
Speaker A:Holy.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:We gotta learn how to take care of your body.
Speaker B:Yes, you do.
Speaker A:Got to eat well, you gotta exercise and you gotta rest.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:Even now, I'm.
Speaker A:I'm 62.
Speaker A:I'm learning.
Speaker A:I need to eat well, I need exercise.
Speaker A:I need to rest.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:So I know a lot of single people like to have a lot of fun when they're not working.
Speaker B:Or there are others that are just like, workaholics and they may not be eating well or exercising or resting.
Speaker B:And you can't do either extreme of just, you know, totally letting go and just.
Speaker B:I don't have to be, you know, doing these things because I'm single.
Speaker B:And, you know, it doesn't matter.
Speaker B:It really does matter because like you said, we're developing habits, and habits will.
Speaker A:Create your lifestyle besides your body.
Speaker A:You need to take care of your mind.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:You gotta process those past wounds and learn emotional regulations because at some point he or she's going to say something to you that's going to trigger a wound or it's going to say, that sounds so familiar or so similar to what so and so said to you that was so, so hurtful.
Speaker A:And it's not that intention at all.
Speaker A:So you got to take care of those past wounds.
Speaker A:You got to walk through forgiveness.
Speaker A:You got to walk through letting go.
Speaker A:You got tension in mind.
Speaker A:You need to read, you need to read and you need to let go of those past hurts.
Speaker A:Right, Teresa?
Speaker B:Oh, yes, yes.
Speaker B:And I, I know I processed a lot of past wounds, things concerning my parents and old, older relationships and things like that.
Speaker B:Even stuff that I was going through currently as a single, I had to deal with those things.
Speaker B:But even when you do that, there still may be some of that that carries over into marriage.
Speaker B:So deal with as much of it as you can while you're single.
Speaker B:You know, don't let unforgiveness towards your parents or, you know, sibling rivalry and you know, just stuff like that just keep going on in your life because it's just, it's just gonna keep tearing down your mental health, your well being.
Speaker B:And like you said, it becomes a real, what did we call those buttons that people can push?
Speaker B:You know, the enemy will make sure he's pushing your buttons, whether it's with your spouse or someone else.
Speaker B:But, you know, you don't want to, like you said, mistake things that your spouse says and does as hurting you the same way that these old things.
Speaker A:It could be a parent, it could be a sibling, it could be a relative, it could be an ex and so forth.
Speaker A:You need to walk in forgiveness.
Speaker B:Yes, yes, absolutely.
Speaker B:Forgiveness takes care of so many things.
Speaker B:And it's not just saying, well, I'll just, you know, say they're off the hook.
Speaker B:No, it's really, you got to go through a process of forgiveness going down deep.
Speaker B:As far as that hurt went, or as far as that anger is, is going, or whatever is the, the root of that situation, that past hurt, or that, you know, wrong that was done to you or something you did wrong, and you can't forgive yourself for whatever it is.
Speaker B:You've got to let God's forgiveness go all the way down to the bottom of that.
Speaker B:And then you forgive everybody involved and forgive yourself and let God heal that.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:And if you need help, you need to reach out to someone, you need to reach out to your pastor and get a good recommendation or good reference to someone who can help you walk through that forgiveness.
Speaker A:Just like you go to a doctor for your physical body.
Speaker A:I mean, it's okay to go to a counselor to help you walk through forgiveness.
Speaker B:It is.
Speaker B:It really is.
Speaker A:And your body includes.
Speaker A:You got to establish financial habits, you got to be able to budget, you got to be able to save, and you got to able, be able to embrace generosity.
Speaker A:Right, Teresa, even when you're single, you should be budgeting.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:You should be saving and you should be given generously.
Speaker B:Yes, I could have done more of the budgeting and, and saving myself.
Speaker B:That's so true.
Speaker A:And it's easiest to do when you're single because when you're in marriage, you both have to get a vote on how things are spent.
Speaker A:And if you're already in the habit of planning your budget and planning where the money goes, it will go where you want to go.
Speaker A:If you're like, okay, if I, if I see something, I'll buy it, that will lead to financial ruin.
Speaker B:Right, right.
Speaker B:It's not being wise with your finances.
Speaker B:So that saves a lot of money fights.
Speaker B:You know, in a marriage, if you already have a very disciplined life when it comes to finances, that's, that's a really, really helpful thing.
Speaker B:You know, what is it Dave Ramsey says?
Speaker B:You know, money fights and things like that, they, they cause a lot of marriage breakups or a lot, at least a lot of trouble in marriages.
Speaker A:Marriage.
Speaker A:Marriage breakups.
Speaker A:A lot of.
Speaker A:A lot of divorces based on financial troubles.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:A healthy you makes a stable us.
Speaker A:Marriage thrives when both partners show up whole and humble.
Speaker B:I like that.
Speaker A:Proverbs 21:5 tells us the plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.
Speaker A:Number three.
Speaker A:Teresa, I think this is something that we would have told ourselves, told our younger single selves, you got to serve somewhere.
Speaker A:Marriage isn't just about romance.
Speaker A:It's ministry.
Speaker A:You're serving each other.
Speaker A:You're blessing each other.
Speaker A:You're putting the other one first.
Speaker A:So get involved in your local church or a faith driven cause.
Speaker A:Actually, local church and a faith given church.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker A:Always be involved in your local church.
Speaker B:Oh, yes, always in your local church.
Speaker B:You can find your place to serve and fill that place.
Speaker B:And it, it may take some time finding exactly the right place, but start serving somewhere and let God direct you as you're, as you're serving to be in that, that right little pocket of ministry in your local church because it builds up the church.
Speaker B:But you also grow so much in the gifts that God has placed in you when you are serving because other people who are serving alongside you and you may have a team leader in that area of your church.
Speaker B:It could be the worship leader or it could be someone who's over the missions department or someone who's over all the ushers and greeters.
Speaker B:Whoever it is, you're going to grow and mature by serving and interacting with these people and learning to, like you said, you get beyond yourself and you think about the needs of other people.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That is going to be just so helpful in marriage.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Because when we serve, it kind of shift to focus off of ourselves and to sacrifice.
Speaker A:And that's really, that's really key to marriage, isn't it?
Speaker B:It certainly is.
Speaker B:You don't realize it when you're saying I do on the wedding day that there's going to be a lot of dying to self and sacrificing what you want for the other person.
Speaker B:And of course both spouses need to do that.
Speaker B:It shouldn't be a one way thing, one doing all the sacrificing, the other one enjoying all the benefits.
Speaker B:But if you both learn to do that when you're single, that is so beautiful for a marriage.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And as you serve, God will begin to shape your calling and teaching you teamwork.
Speaker B:Mm, absolutely.
Speaker A:First, Peter 4:10 tells us each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others.
Speaker A:Now, Teresa, let's talk about something very exciting coming up in September.
Speaker A:Yes, yes, Tell us what's happening.
Speaker A:This is breaking news never heard before.
Speaker A:This is exciting.
Speaker B:Yes, it is exciting.
Speaker B:We're excited.
Speaker B:We're actually doing a live event for married couples and engaged couples.
Speaker B: th this year,: Speaker B:And we're going to have it in an afternoon like maybe 2 o' clock to 6 o', clock, about a four hour meeting where we have some pastors sharing on important topics in marriage and we'll be able to share some things and we're actually going to include a little special time for you and your spouse to have dinner together to really connect and talk about the things you've been hearing in the live meeting.
Speaker B:It's all online so no one has to drive anywhere or, you know, pay for a hotel.
Speaker B:You can do this in the comfort of your home if you want to, but if you want to be in a hotel during this meeting, that, that might be fun, might be a little getaway for you.
Speaker B:But we're excited about it because this is kind of stepping out past the podcast and reaching more people and having an impact with people that maybe need some encouragement.
Speaker B:Need some help in their marriage.
Speaker A:I don't know, Teresa.
Speaker A:I don't know if people are willing to pay for something like that right before Christmas.
Speaker A:You got Christmas coming up, you got Thanksgiving, Christmas.
Speaker A:I don't know if kids are going back to school.
Speaker A:How can we expect people to pay for something like this?
Speaker B:Oh, they won't have to pay.
Speaker B:It's all free.
Speaker B:It's free.
Speaker B:It's a free.
Speaker B:I kind of left out that detail, didn't I?
Speaker A:Absolutely free.
Speaker B:Absolutely free.
Speaker B:We're so excited to present this.
Speaker B:So we're going to be sharing more about this in future podcasts as the emails are going out and planning is going out.
Speaker B:So we really want you to be a part of our little family Inspiring Marriages family and be on our email list.
Speaker B:So by all means respond to, to our, to our broadcast and say that you want to be a part and we can send out emails about this event as it gets closer.
Speaker A:And if you would like a free seven day devotional for couples that Teresa has put together, send us an email at inspiring marriages t.net There you will get a link to receive the PDF, the free PDF and also you'll be signed up on our mailing list so we can keep you up to date with this exciting marriage meeting coming up in September.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:This week's friendship builder.
Speaker A:So this week's friendship builder.
Speaker A:Teresa, I know it's getting hot now in here in Texas.
Speaker A:It is, it is upper 90s and we're, we're going, we're on the edge of 100.
Speaker A:In a couple of weeks, we expect it to be like 106.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:So it is hot.
Speaker A:But our friendship builder this week is to go for a walk together.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:If you just want to walk around your kitchen together because it's too hot, then, but try to get out there and just walk a little bit together.
Speaker A:It just, it's just a great opportunity to talk and to share and just to connect.
Speaker A:That's the key point.
Speaker A:Other than it's, it's a good way of taking care of your, your health, of walking.
Speaker A:It's also good to talk.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So you're taking care of two things.
Speaker A:You're taking care of your physical health, you're taking care of your emotional health and you're taking care of your romantic health.
Speaker A:That's connecting, right?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Get more connected to my younger self and to you.
Speaker A:Don't just dream about the wedding.
Speaker A:Prepare for the covenant.
Speaker A:Pursue God, Build yourself up with wisdom and health and embrace the joy of serving.
Speaker A:These habits will not only attract the right spouse, they'll sustain a Christ centered marriage through every season.
Speaker A:If you need prayer, send us a email@instiringmarriages.net and we will pray for you.
Speaker A:But before we leave today, we want to pray for you.
Speaker A:Lord, prepare our hearts for Godly love.
Speaker A:Help us become the kind of person we're praying to marry.
Speaker A:Lead us in truth, grace, and readiness for the journey ahead.
Speaker A:Be sure to follow Inspiring Marriages.
Speaker A:Leave us a review and share this episode with a friend Preparing for marriage.
Speaker A:Let's raise up couples who love God and love each other.
Speaker A:And remember, husband and wife are friends for life.
