No Secrets, Just Love: Transparency in Marriage
Let’s talk about getting real in your marriage! The main deal here? It’s all about ditching the hidden stuff and being totally transparent with each other. We’ve been there – smiling in public but feeling like strangers at home. It’s time to remove those veils, both literally and metaphorically, and embrace a naked truth in your relationship. We’ll share how gut-level honesty can seriously revive intimacy and trust. So, if you're ready to peel back those layers and get closer than ever, let’s dive in!
Let's talk about the real deal in marriage—removing the veil and getting super real with each other! You know, sometimes we can be like two ships passing in the night, right? Smiling in public but feeling like strangers at home. It's time to ditch that awkward silence and embrace transparency. This conversation dives deep into how intimacy isn't just about date nights or sweet nothings; it’s about being fully open and vulnerable. We're breaking down the walls that can build up over time and sharing how to reclaim that closeness. Spoiler alert: It’s all about being naked—emotionally, spiritually, and yes, maybe even literally! So, if you’re ready to step out from behind the curtain and embrace the full glory of a transparent marriage, hit play and let’s get to it!
Takeaways:
- In a Christian marriage, being transparent is key; don’t let anything separate you.
- Sharing finances openly builds trust; hiding money creates walls in your relationship.
- Secret relationships are a big no-no; communicate openly about friendships and interactions.
- Digital transparency is crucial; share passwords to ensure you’re both in each other’s world.
Transcript
This is your sign to be naked in your marriage.
Speaker A:I'll be honest, there was a season in our 33 year marriage where we were almost strangers in the same bed, smiling in public, silent.
Speaker A:At home, we said the right things.
Speaker A:We played the perfect couple.
Speaker A:But behind closed doors we weren't truly neck with each other emotionally or spiritually.
Speaker B:That hidden distance nearly destroyed us.
Speaker B:But what saved our marriage wasn't more date nights or devotionals.
Speaker B:It was a raw, gut level transparency.
Speaker B:The kind that feels risky but heals everything.
Speaker A:In this video we're going to show you how we reclaimed intimacy and why being naked in your marriage may be the most biblical thing you've been avoiding.
Speaker A:If you're ready to jump in, give us a thumbs up.
Speaker A:Teresa.
Speaker A:Genesis 2, 25 in the Amplified classic tells us and the man and his wife are both naked and not ashamed or embarrassed in each other's presence.
Speaker A:Now, we've all been to weddings.
Speaker A:Now sometimes your wedding, the bride may have a veil or she might have some kind of headpiece or she may not have a veil or headpiece at all, which is fine.
Speaker A:But what it represents is a veil between the man and the woman until they are united in holy matrimony.
Speaker A:And then the.
Speaker A:Either the groom will take the veil up or the bride will take the veil up.
Speaker A:And that's a symbolic of that covenant.
Speaker A:But no longer.
Speaker A:You're no longer hidden from each other.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:No longer two, but one.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So don't.
Speaker A:If you didn't have a veil in your wedding, don't, don't, don't freak out about it.
Speaker A:It's still cool.
Speaker A:Your marriage is still cool.
Speaker A:But it's really important, Theresa, isn't it?
Speaker A:For not to have anything separate us.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Not to have anything hidden in your marriage, in your relationship.
Speaker B:And we're going to get into some important areas where you really need to be transparent with each other right?
Speaker A:Now.
Speaker A:The first, the first one in this digital age, you got to share your passwords and your accounts.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Where do you want to do it?
Speaker A:Share your passwords digitally?
Speaker A:Or if you get a notebook that only you two know what, what it is and you write down every account you have, all your banking accounts, all your social media accounts, whatever it is, all your, your, your usernames and your passwords.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:And just, just have it and share it.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Digital transparency is a modern form of intimacy.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:If your spouse cannot access your world, they are not part of it.
Speaker A:At any time, Teresa or the girls or our son can pick up my phone and they can look at any picture, they can look at any text.
Speaker A:They can see every email.
Speaker A:They can see every text.
Speaker A:There is.
Speaker A:There is nothing hidden right here.
Speaker A:You don't need to have secret accounts or burner phones or things to keep secret.
Speaker A:There needs to be.
Speaker A:No, that's good.
Speaker A:No secrets in this area.
Speaker B:No secrets.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:And it's so easy for that to happen.
Speaker B:We can think just a little bit.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:But it's really not because it represents, like you said, a barrier between you and your spouse.
Speaker A:So a good way is just to, I mean, like I said, share.
Speaker A:Share your.
Speaker A:Your calendars, share your passwords.
Speaker A:I think Tracy can even see the things I. I search for.
Speaker B:Yes, Yes.
Speaker B:I think it comes up on my phone, actually.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So it's like, you know, and it's.
Speaker A:And it's not very interesting stuff.
Speaker A:And maybe how to, you know, how to fix a.
Speaker A:Fix something, you know.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Nothing stop a sink.
Speaker A:Nothing.
Speaker A:Nothing elaborate.
Speaker A:Let us ask you this question.
Speaker A:Are you and your spouse truly transparent or is there something still hidden?
Speaker A:Number two, you have to share your finances.
Speaker A:There should never be a time when.
Speaker A:Whether it's his money or her money.
Speaker A:Right, Theresa?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Money is emotional.
Speaker A:When you hide spending, you build walls.
Speaker B:That's powerful.
Speaker A:When you open the books, you build trust.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Now, it doesn't mean that she has to get my okay for every single thing that she.
Speaker A:That she spends money on.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:You both should have a set amount that you can spend without.
Speaker A:She sees something.
Speaker A:Some shoes she like or she sees some makeup she needs, or she.
Speaker A:There's something that she needs.
Speaker A:There should be a set amount that.
Speaker A:Yeah, she can go ahead and get it.
Speaker A:Get that.
Speaker A:Right, Teresa?
Speaker B:Yes, that's going to come up.
Speaker B:You know, all those little things that you need during the week, things that are kind of recurring expenses.
Speaker A:But we highly recommend Financial Peace University, where you sit down as a couple and you learn how the budget the month before it happens.
Speaker A:How you.
Speaker A:Every dollar coming in, you assign where it's going to go.
Speaker A:Where it's going to go to the mortgage or to the car or to the electric or to the gas or to food or to clothes or the gasoline or the tires, dental bills, debt.
Speaker A:It all should be on paper before the month begins.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:That's so powerful.
Speaker B:And I know Dave Ramsey recommends not.
Speaker B:Even before you were married, you had different bank accounts.
Speaker B:But he said upon getting married, you need to have one account together.
Speaker B:So there's visibility for both people on that account in access to the same account.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And if.
Speaker A:If you want to set up separate or sub savings account where Teresa can put away some money every.
Speaker A:Every week, just put in that.
Speaker A:So that.
Speaker A:Or she wants to put cash, you know, here, this.
Speaker A:This.
Speaker A:This money here.
Speaker A:This is yours to spend however you want to this week.
Speaker A:You know, this and this.
Speaker A:That way is just in her.
Speaker A:In her wallet that she could spend.
Speaker A:She could spend it when she wants to.
Speaker A:But then you don't need to have secrets.
Speaker A:I need to hide your spending from each other.
Speaker A:That's a bad thing.
Speaker B:Kind of an indication of a different.
Speaker B:A deeper problem.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You gotta be able to trust each other.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:Number three.
Speaker A:To be naked in your marriage, to be transparent with each other.
Speaker A:There cannot be secret relationships.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:No secret friendships, no direct messaging, no casual connections.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:If you wouldn't mention it to your spouse, it's a breach.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That has to do with the trust area.
Speaker B:Again, this is all about being able to have complete trust in each other.
Speaker B:And, you know, it could be not something you're initiating.
Speaker B:It could be someone is trying to impose themselves on you and have a relationship with you and, you know, tell your spouse about that.
Speaker B:You know, like, oh, if Jeff was saying, a woman's talking to me at work, and I don't like the way she's coming on to me or acting like we're friends and we're not friends, you know, we just work in the same area, you know, then that would be great if he told me about that.
Speaker B:So we can pray about that together and pray about how he can address that situation and say, you know, hey, I'm not interested, and he.
Speaker B:Anything.
Speaker B:We're just talking about work, you know, and be able to make sure that's clear in that area, you know, so that's.
Speaker B:That's so important.
Speaker A:And remember, intimacy dies in the dark.
Speaker A:It really does.
Speaker A:So, you know, your spouse needs to be able to come to you guys.
Speaker A:Your wife needs to come to you and be able to say.
Speaker A:She should have the freedom to say, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable with so and so how they're interacting with you.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:That's so important.
Speaker A:Your spouse can see things that you're just blind to.
Speaker B:Right, Right.
Speaker B:And a lot of times husbands have to mention that to their wives because why.
Speaker B:Might be very sociable and, you know, just thinking, I'm friendly with everybody.
Speaker B:But your spouse can tell if there's some kind of wrong intent there.
Speaker B:If there's a wrong motive going on towards your husband or your wife, and you can head that off and not let that turn into something like a secret relationship.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:I don't text girls at work.
Speaker A:I don't text women at church.
Speaker A:I just don't do it.
Speaker A:If I ever had to, I usually always included Teresa.
Speaker A:So if I needed to text a worship leader, I would always, always include Teresa on the text.
Speaker A:Just to.
Speaker A:It's just a text, you know, it's just, hey, what time is worship practice or something?
Speaker B:You know, it's nothing.
Speaker A:Nothing big.
Speaker A:And something that our friends Trey and Lee Morgan teach in their Stronger Marriages workshops is husbands.
Speaker A:No other man should have complimented your wife before you did.
Speaker A:You should tell her that her dress looks nice and her hair looks great and her makeup is perfect.
Speaker A:There should never be a case where someone else did that before you did.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You don't want another guy to be complimenting your wife, and she's starving for attention and.
Speaker B:And compliments and.
Speaker B:And those things that should come from her husband.
Speaker B:But it really sets up like a weakness in your relationship and a place for the enemy to come in and try to create something and cause a wedge in your marriage.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker A:These aren't rules to restrict you and confine you.
Speaker A:They're rhythms to restore safety and closeness.
Speaker A:No hidden accounts, no private spending, no secret relationships.
Speaker A:Right, Teresa?
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:This will really help build trust and keep trust in your marriage.
Speaker B:Very strong.
Speaker A:You got the tools.
Speaker A:Now it's time to rebuild that trust from insight out.
Speaker B:If this hits home, grab the free transparency pact.
Speaker B:A simple faith based guide for opening up in your marriage.
Speaker A:It's short, it's powerful, and it'll help you take the next step.
Speaker A:You'll find a link below, pinned to the top comment.
Speaker A:If you're interested in other videos about enhancing your emotional intimacy and check out the link.
Speaker A:And until next time, remember, husband and.
Speaker B:Wife are friends for life.
