Unlocking Love: 6 Secrets to Intellectual Intimacy Every Couple Should Know
Join Jeff and Teresa Fields as they share six more exciting tips on nurturing intellectual intimacy in marriage. This episode delves into the often-overlooked aspect of relationship growth that involves deep conversations and shared experiences. From visiting museums and attending lectures to playing intellectual games and having big question conversations, they explore practical ways to enhance your connection. They emphasize the importance of supporting each other's intellectual pursuits and even cooking new recipes together as a means of fostering intimacy. Get ready to be inspired and discover how to deepen your bond while having fun along the way!
Delve into the enriching world of intellectual intimacy as Jeff and Teresa Fields share their insights and experiences on nurturing deep connections in marriage. Drawing on their 32 years of marriage, they discuss the often-overlooked aspect of intellectual intimacy and its vital role in building a robust, fulfilling relationship. The episode presents six additional tips to help couples enhance this intimate connection, emphasizing the importance of shared learning experiences. From visiting museums and attending lectures to engaging in meaningful conversations about life's big questions, the Fields illustrate how these activities can spark deeper understanding and appreciation for one another. They also share personal anecdotes, including their own experiences with cooking new recipes together, which not only nourishes their bodies but also strengthens their bond. This engaging dialogue encourages listeners to reflect on their own relationships and consider how they can cultivate a richer intellectual partnership with their spouses, ultimately leading to a more vibrant and connected marriage.
Takeaways:
- Intellectual intimacy involves deep conversations and shared ideas that strengthen your marriage.
- Engaging in activities like visiting museums can help couples grow together intellectually.
- Supporting each other's intellectual pursuits fosters a sense of shared purpose in marriage.
- Cooking new recipes together blends creativity and intellect, enhancing your bond as a couple.
- Having regular big question conversations allows couples to explore profound topics and beliefs.
- Playing intellectual games together can deepen your connection while providing fun and laughter.
Links referenced in this episode:
Transcript
Foreign.
Teresa:Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.
Teresa:We are Jeff and Teresa Fields and we are thrilled to have you with us today.
Teresa:The incredible music that you heard in our intro was the incredible work of our very own son, Joseph Taylor Fields.
Speaker A:We've been happily married for 32amazing years.
Speaker A:Along the way, we've been blessed by three incredible children and we have a fantastic son in law and the most precious grandbaby you could imagine.
Teresa:Get ready to be inspired as you open up about our journey.
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Teresa:We're continuing in our series about intellectual intimacy.
Teresa:This is a an area of intimacy that's really not talked a lot.
Teresa:I don't really see a lot of terms using intellectual intimacy out any either books or in teachings, either videos or or whatnot.
Teresa:But it's really the unspoken romance is really important for couples to develop intellectual intimacy.
Teresa:But that's really not talked about.
Teresa:We kind of do it without thinking about it, right?
Teresa:So last week we talked gave six tips on how to develop intellectual intimacy and we're going to give today going to give six more tips on how to develop intellectual intimacy.
Teresa:Our working definition of marriage is a man and a woman, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically intimate, working together in a shared life to help each other realize their visions and dreams walking with God to fulfill their callings and goals.
Teresa:Intimacy.
Teresa:Intimacy a profound connection built on trust and mutual respect where the deepest thoughts and emotions are shared openly without hesitation or fear of judgment.
Teresa:It is a space where vulnerability is met with understanding and true closeness flourishes spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically.
Teresa:And our definition of intellectual intimacy?
Teresa:It means it involves deep conversations and shared ideas.
Teresa:So last week we talked about started talking about mindful connections, how to nurture intellectual intimacy and love.
Teresa:And we gave six tips and real quick read and discuss books together, attend workshops or classes, share interesting articles, start a hobby together, discuss your day from an intellectual perspective and watch documentaries and discuss them.
Teresa:So Teresa, we're going today we're going to give six more Tips on how to develop intellectual intimacy.
Teresa:And what do we have?
Speaker A:Well, number seven, or we could say the first one for this podcast is visit museums, galleries or lectures.
Speaker A:Yeah, attending lectures is good.
Speaker A:Set aside time to visit museums, galleries, or attend lectures on subjects that stir both your hearts and minds.
Speaker A:These outings offer enriching experiences that allow you to engage with art, history and knowledge in profound ways.
Speaker A:We can always learn new things, right?
Speaker A:It's more fun to learn it together, isn't it?
Teresa:That's right.
Teresa:As you explore together, you deepen your understanding of each other's perspectives and reflections, in which in turn enriches your connection.
Teresa:These shared moments of discovery help you grow closer spiritually as you begin to see the world through each other's eyes, gaining new insights that unite you on a deeper level.
Teresa:I just remember a time a few years ago where we visited Glen Rose, Texas, and we visited the Christian Evidence Museum.
Speaker A:Yes, Creation Evidence Museum.
Teresa:Creation Evidence Museum.
Speaker A:It's amazing.
Teresa:And it's Dr.
Teresa:Carl Baugh.
Teresa:We didn't know he was going to be there.
Teresa:And Dr.
Teresa:Carl Ball was there and gave a lecture.
Teresa:It was fascinating.
Speaker A:It was so fascinating.
Speaker A:He used to do TV programs on tbn, just talk for a whole hour on creation and all the evidence that is in history and in books and in, you know, things that they've discovered in the earth.
Speaker A:And to have him there in person was really a treat that was so special.
Teresa:And we got like a postcard in the mail last week from a local college where they were offering advertising faculty lectures where you can pick a subject and go, I don't know if they may have charged for it, I don't know.
Teresa:But charge for it and you can go attend it.
Teresa:But there was one that's like, oh, that would be interesting to send that lecture.
Speaker A:That's right.
Teresa:So even though there's like four main areas of intimacy, there's a spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical, they're not four different worlds.
Speaker A:That's right.
Teresa:As you, as you work on one, it enhances the others.
Speaker A:It does.
Speaker A:I was going to say impacts the others, but I like the way you said it better.
Speaker A:It enhances the others.
Speaker A:That's so true.
Speaker A:I like that.
Teresa:So take the time to either.
Teresa:I mean, you know, I don't know if you have a museum or a local college near you, but a lot of museums have free days and they have different things, but take the time to either go in person to visit a museum, gallery or lecture, or certainly you can do it online.
Teresa:There's certainly connections where you can Watch a lecture together online.
Teresa:That's certainly an option.
Teresa:So you're not limited based on where you live.
Teresa:There are always options, right?
Speaker A:All right, the next one is have regular big question conversations.
Speaker A:This is interesting.
Speaker A:Create sacred space in your relationship to regularly explore the big questions about life philosophy, your future, or the ethical dilemmas that stir your souls.
Speaker A:I mean, there are so many issues going on in the world today.
Speaker A:There's a lot to choose from.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:These conversations invite both of you to think deeply, reflect on your core beliefs, and share your most profound values.
Teresa:This practice nurtures mental intimacy.
Teresa:That's really what the goal is here, is to nurture the mental intimacy between you and your spouse.
Teresa:And as you do that, it will nurture your spiritual growth as it challenges both of you to articulate your deepest truths and discover your shared beliefs that will strengthen your relationship.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker A:It's amazing how you know to think along the same lines.
Speaker A:It makes such a difference.
Speaker A:You don't have to wonder, like, if I'm going to step out in this area.
Speaker A:If we're thinking about our marriage, taking on a new challenge or trying something new, we need to know if we think alike about this.
Speaker A:Like, you know, what if one of us wants to run for office or something?
Speaker A:Well, what do we believe about political things or about our city or our community?
Speaker A:You know, that's.
Speaker A:That's good to know where we are on the same page about things that's so important.
Teresa:This is a new one for us.
Teresa:But as.
Teresa:As you read these tips and, like, oh, that's intriguing.
Speaker A:Yes, yes.
Teresa:So the third tip today.
Teresa:Write together.
Teresa:Writing together is a deeply intimate and spiritual way to connect.
Teresa:Whether it's crafting stories, journaling your dreams and aspirations, or even starting a blog to document your shared journey, writing allows you to express your inner worlds in a way that's both personal and profound.
Speaker A:I really like that.
Speaker A:We could really write some stories, couldn't we?
Speaker A:Lots of things we've been through together.
Speaker A:As you write together, you gain greater insight into each other's thoughts, feelings, and desires, fostering mutual respect and deeper understanding.
Speaker A:This creative act becomes a spiritual practice where your words and hearts intertwine.
Speaker A:That's so beautiful.
Speaker A:Building a bond that transcends intellectual and touches the soul.
Speaker A:That's so good.
Teresa:Philippians 2.
Teresa:3 says, do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Teresa:Rather in humility.
Teresa:Value others above yourself.
Speaker A:Mm, that's right.
Speaker A:That's right.
Speaker A:And it's kind of like in anything, if we take turns and we give each other a space to express ourselves.
Speaker A:You know, whether it's emotionally or intellectually or any kind of way, it's.
Speaker A:That just enriches your whole marriage, doesn't it?
Teresa:And personal level, it's kind of like the pocket this podcast.
Teresa:So a year ago we started.
Teresa:Almost a year ago, almost a year ago, just a little over a year ago, we, we first started even planning a podcast.
Teresa:We had no idea we were going to do a podcast together.
Teresa:Teresa really had it on her heart to start a podcast and I was just doing the research to help her get started as the more we delved into it and more we discussed it, well, we should do a podcast together.
Teresa:And we had no idea it was going to be about marriage.
Teresa:So as we were exploring our ideas and what we could talk about, it came to our surprise.
Speaker A:To our surprise it came, oh, we.
Teresa:Should do a podcast about marriage.
Teresa:And I thought it was.
Teresa:If I thought we ever going to do a podcast, I would have thought it would have been about worship.
Teresa:Because the first 33 years of our marriage was all focused really on worshiping and leading worship together.
Teresa:Worship, ministry, worship and doing each and just helping each other and just working together, developing songs and recording them and.
Speaker A:Building a ministry, leading worship together.
Teresa:So that was really the focus of the first 33 years of our marriage.
Teresa:And then as we were focusing on a podcast, next week will be our last episode of the first season, season one.
Teresa:And then the following week, which will be Valentine's Day, we'll begin season two.
Speaker A:Amazing.
Speaker A:Season two.
Speaker A:Wow.
Speaker A:We'll still be in this on all of these lines that we've been talking about though.
Speaker A:We won't be starting a whole new series, but yeah, just continuing with these intimacy series.
Speaker A:So good.
Speaker A:So our next tip is play intellectual games.
Speaker A:That sounds fun.
Speaker A:Engage in games that challenge your minds, such as chess, trivia or puzzles as a way to nurture intellectual connection.
Speaker A:These activities engage your mental faculties, creating moments of playful competition.
Speaker A:I hope it's playful, right?
Speaker A:Some people are super competitive, creating movements of playful competition while also offering opportunities for collaboration and shared laughter.
Speaker A:I think my, my highest order is like Scrabble.
Speaker A:I'm not a chess player, never learned to play the game.
Teresa:Teresa is an excellent I like Scrabble though player.
Speaker A:I like to spell.
Teresa:As you work together to solve problems or outwit each other, you deepen your connection not only in intellect, but also in spirit.
Teresa:The joy and fun you share in these moments create a sacred space where your bond strengthens and your minds unite in a dance of joy and growth.
Teresa:Now, we say intellectual games, but it really can be anything where you're spending time together, where this strategy involved.
Teresa:I mean, it could be Jenga.
Teresa:It can be even, even when you're not competing, like putting together a jigsaw puzzle together, something that you can do together.
Teresa:And it's notes mentioned chess, but there's also checkers or there can be dominoes.
Teresa:Dominoes.
Teresa:Or Uno or Yahtzee.
Teresa:And there's all kinds of different games.
Teresa:You know, it used to be Friday night was a lot was time for family get together family game night.
Teresa:And that's one of our marriage builder tips is have a game night during the week with your family.
Teresa:Just some night you.
Teresa:You set aside for a family activity.
Teresa:It kind of reminds me of that Carol Burnett sketch of the family where they're going to play a game together.
Teresa:And, and the Carol Burnett cat character was very aggressive.
Teresa:They were going to play sorry.
Teresa:And.
Teresa:And of course, when you land on somebody, you, you say sorry and they gotta go back to beginning or something.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Teresa:But everybody kept landing on her piece and sending her back.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Teresa:Back to the beginning.
Teresa:So she thought everybody was gaining up on her.
Speaker A:They end up take it well.
Teresa:End up screaming and yelling each other during their fun game night.
Teresa:It did not end well.
Speaker A:Did not end well.
Speaker A:Oh, don't be that family.
Speaker A:Right.
Teresa:Just have fun.
Speaker A:Just have fun.
Teresa:John Legend says a couple that supports each other's dreams will have a happy and successful future together.
Speaker A:That is so good.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You have to know what your dreams are.
Speaker A:So like we were talking about the journaling.
Speaker A:Have you ever talked about your hopes and dreams for your life, your marriage, your family?
Speaker A:You know, what, what would you really love to see happen for you and for your family?
Speaker A:Marriage?
Speaker A:Something that was.
Speaker A:Is kind of close to your heart.
Speaker A:It might be something you wanted when you were a child and you never got to do.
Teresa:Wow.
Speaker A:You know, that's like I always dreamed about going to this place or being this kind of, you know, traveler or, you know, doing just something that, you know, you've all your heart's always desired.
Speaker A:It's okay to talk about those things.
Speaker A:And you know, really, when couples do that, it can become a reality.
Speaker A:You'll see them, you know, off, you know, hiking some trails somewhere, going on a dream trip, you know, investing in something that really adds to their life.
Speaker A:And, you know, that's, that's what it's all about.
Speaker A:Marriage should always be growing, always getting more richer and richer and just benefiting all the way around your whole life.
Speaker A:Spiritually, emotionally, romantically, physically.
Speaker A:Everything.
Teresa:Our next tip is cook new recipes together.
Teresa:While cooking may not seem like an intellectual activity, delving into complex recipes and understanding the science behind different methods is a beautiful way to stimulate your minds.
Teresa:The process of planning, researching, and problem solving together can open new dimensions of connection and learning.
Speaker A:As you create nourishing meals together, you are also nourishing your bond.
Speaker A:Blending creativity and intellect in a shared experience that strengthens your connection to both a mental and spiritual level.
Teresa:Something that we've been enjoying ever since it was our.
Teresa:One of our.
Teresa:A marriage builder before was cook new recipes together.
Teresa:We subscribed to a salmon, a fresh.
Speaker A:Alaskan.
Teresa:Alaskan salmon.
Teresa:Together.
Teresa:We get a shipment every.
Teresa:Every couple of months.
Teresa:And what we try to do, at least once a week, we try to have fresh salmon where we.
Teresa:We baked the salmon and we tried different recipes, but we've been enjoying that.
Teresa:That activity ever.
Teresa:Ever since.
Speaker A:Ever since.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Teresa:And we didn't know how to bake.
Speaker A:Salmon, didn't know how to cook it at all.
Teresa:And we just looked online and found some recipes and the.
Teresa:The.
Teresa:The Alaskan company on their website.
Teresa:Their website, they have recipe.
Teresa:So it was pretty simple.
Teresa:And we tried different things.
Teresa:Lemon, pepper.
Teresa:We tried garlic, and we tried grilling and baking.
Teresa:So we've done different things.
Teresa:And we like them all.
Speaker A:Yeah, we like them all.
Speaker A:It's nice to try it different ways.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's really delicious.
Speaker A:And I know the first time we made it, we were so excited that it turned out well.
Speaker A:So we took pictures of our food and took pictures together, like, hey, we made a salmon dinner together.
Speaker A:It was fun.
Teresa:And it's.
Teresa:I think it tastes a lot better than the local restaurant to me.
Teresa:It does.
Speaker A:It's very fresh.
Speaker A:It's really, really good.
Teresa:A lot of the local restaurants have Atlantic salmon, and we don't want that.
Teresa:We want fresh Alaskan salmon.
Speaker A:It's much better.
Teresa:Our last tip this week, number 12.
Teresa:Number six this week and 12 overall.
Teresa:So support each other's intellectual pursuits.
Teresa:One of the most meaningful ways to foster intellectual intimacy is by supporting and encouraging each other's intellectual passions.
Teresa:Whether it's a professional project or personal interest, showing genuine interest in your partner's pursuits deepens your respect and admiration for.
Teresa:For their mental and spiritual growth.
Speaker A:And Mother Teresa said, I can do things you cannot.
Speaker A:You can do things I cannot.
Speaker A:Together, we can do great things.
Teresa:That's good.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker A:That's so good.
Speaker A:This support nurtures a sense of shared purpose and encourages both of you to continue developing individually and Together strengthening your bond in the sacred space where intellectual and emotional connection meet.
Teresa:Right.
Teresa:That may be additional education that one of you may pursue whether it's formal or informal.
Teresa:Maybe you want to take an online course and that's not accredited and it is something that, that you really want to do and your spouse can support you in that pursuit where.
Speaker A:Right.
Teresa:They can kind of help share to share the duties or take a greater load of the duties for, for that time to let the other one concentrate on.
Teresa:On their studies and just support each other in that way.
Teresa:Whether it's online Bible class or even maybe a online degree or maybe it's a local degree or you may want to go back to, to a physical school and get education or that's right.
Teresa:Bachelor's or associates or bachelors or even a master's.
Teresa:That if that's something that, that your spouse really desires or a calling upon their life, you should be willing to support them and do what you can to, to give support in an area.
Speaker A:That's right.
Teresa:That's so important and there's so many, so many places where you can get a.
Teresa:People offer classes online that really economic they're economical and that's right.
Teresa:So that you can if you want to get increase your knowledge about something there's, there's ways to do it and we should support each other in our intellectual pursuits.
Speaker A:That's right.
Teresa:So we've seen where intellectual intimacy not only enhances emotional bonds but also promotes a sense of partnership and collaboration.
Teresa:By prioritizing intellectual growth together, couples can navigate life's challenges with a shared perspective, ultimately strengthening the strengthening their relationship and ensuring it remains dynamic and fulfilling.
Teresa:So the questions we have for you, you can either put a comment in the video or send us an email@inspiringmarriagest.net how do you and your partner nurture your intellectual intimacy?
Teresa:So next week we're going to give signs to look for to see how well you're nurturing intellectual intimacy.
Teresa:And I bet you're.
Teresa:You're already doing it.
Speaker A:Mm.
Teresa:Exciting news.
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Teresa:Join us wherever and however you prefer to tune in this week's Friendship Builder.
Teresa:So this week's Friendship Builder is Cook.
Speaker A:A brand new recipe together.
Teresa:Yeah, a brand new one.
Teresa:So this is so Teresa.
Speaker A:And I'm cheating.
Speaker A:Right.
Teresa:So Teresa and I will have to find another dish to cook.
Speaker A:Yes.
Teresa:We can't rely on our salmon recipe to count.
Teresa:So we also, I mean, we, we also do these friendship builders.
Teresa:So we will look for a brand new recipe to cook together.
Speaker A:I don't know what it's going to be.
Teresa:We don't know what it's going to be, but we will give you an update once we, once we discover it and, and once we cook it.
Speaker A:That's right.
Teresa:Together.
Teresa:Yeah.
Teresa:So we might have to go out and shop for ingredients we don't know.
Speaker A:Mind a good recipe.
Teresa:We will find a good recipe and we will cook it together.
Teresa:So our friendship builder this week, cook a brand new recipe together.
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Teresa:Got something on your mind?
Teresa:Shoot us an email@inspiringmarriagest.net we're all ears for your questions or suggestions on how to enhance our podcast.
Teresa:And if you have any ideas on topics you'd love us to dive into next, let's keep the conversation going.
Teresa:Always remember, husband and wife are friends for life.
