Unpacking the Myths: God, Sex, and Intimacy Explained
We're diving into some real talk about God, sex, and intimacy today! So, here’s the deal: many of us have picked up some pretty wild misconceptions about these topics that can leave us feeling all kinds of confused and ashamed. After 33 years of marriage and plenty of spiritual growth, we're here to share some eye-opening truths that will help clear the fog. We’re tackling three big lies that often trip people up in their faith and relationships, plus we’ll sprinkle in a bonus tip to boost that intimacy! If you’ve ever felt torn or unsure about what God really says about love and connection, you’re in the right spot. Let’s get into it!
It's wild how many of us have been fed some not-so-great ideas about God, sex, and intimacy over the years. You know, stuff that really just drives a wedge between us and our partners, and even between us and God. After sprinting through 33 years of marriage and navigating some serious ups and downs, we’ve realized there’s a tight knot of confusion and shame wrapped around these topics thanks to some sketchy teachings. So, we're here to gently unravel three major myths that too many Christians have swallowed whole about sex and emotional connection. We're gonna dive into what the scriptures actually say about intimacy, because let's face it—there’s a lot of noise out there that can mess with your head. And yeah, we’ve even got a bonus tip at the end to help you ramp up that intimacy! If you’ve ever felt like you’re wading through muddy waters when it comes to intimacy, don’t worry—you’re in the right place. Let’s jump in and set the record straight!
Takeaways:
- Many of us have been taught misconceptions about God, sex, and intimacy that create distance.
- After 33 years of marriage, we've realized bad teachings cause a lot of confusion and shame.
- We’re unpacking three big lies Christians believe about sex and emotional closeness today.
- The truth is that sex reflects covenant love, not just physical pleasure or shame.
- Desiring intimacy with your spouse is not sinful; it’s part of God’s good creation.
- God is not distant; He cares deeply about our emotional closeness and desires intimacy.
Links referenced in this episode:
- inspiringmarriages.net
- email: inspiringmarriages@att.net
Transcript
For years, many of us have been taught things about God, sex and intimacy that actually leave us feeling more distanced from him and from each other.
Speaker B:After 33 years of marriage and walking closely with God through seasons of both struggle and healing, we've come to realize how much confusion and shame can come from bad teaching on this topic.
Speaker A:In this video, we we want to gently unpack three of the biggest lies many Christians have believed about sex and emotional closeness.
Speaker A:And we want to show you what scripture really says about intimacy with both your spouse and with God.
Speaker A:And we have a bonus point to increase intimacy.
Speaker B:So if you've ever felt conflicted or confused, you're in the right place.
Speaker B:Let's dive in.
Speaker A:Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.
Speaker A:We are Jeff and Teresa Fields, and we are thrilled to have you with us today.
Speaker A:Go to our website@inspiringmarriages.net and dive into all of our previous episodes with detailed show notes that will enrich your listening experience.
Speaker A:Plus, scroll down to find our Keep in Touch section where you can sign up and receive our latest offerings absolutely free.
Speaker A:Don't miss on the inspiration.
Speaker A:Make visit us today.
Speaker A:Teresa we want to gently unpack these three lies that many Christian couples have been led to believe.
Speaker A:And we want to really go over and discuss what their scriptures really say about that.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's so helpful to know what God's word says instead of what we've incorrectly learned from teaching or what we've heard from the world.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So lie number one, Teresa.
Speaker A:Sex is purely physical and separate from spiritual connection.
Speaker B:Wow, that's really strange because it reminds me of what I used to hear about New Testament scriptures that the Greek thinking was spirit is good, body is bad.
Speaker B:Like anything having to do with the body, they just completely disdained it.
Speaker B:And that kind of crept into some of the Christianity.
Speaker A:Wasn't that called agnostic teachings, something like that?
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:So it, it did influence people's thinking even in that time in the early church times.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So what do you think the word is belief came from?
Speaker B:I think originally from Satan, you know, to cause a stumbling block for believers to, to make them think like the world instead of thinking the way that God thinks about this topic.
Speaker B:And we're going to get to share how wonderful it is according to God's word.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:The biblical truth is sex reflects covenant love.
Speaker A:And we see that all over.
Speaker A:So in Genesis 1:31, no attributes God had created the the world and the animals and people.
Speaker A:He called it.
Speaker A:Very good.
Speaker A:Then we see in Genesis chapter 2 where God commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful and replenish the earth.
Speaker A:And Moses wrote Genesis and he has quoted Adam.
Speaker A:Adam said, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and be joined, or cleave unto his wife and adhere unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.
Speaker A:So, Teresa, what does that term, one flesh mean to you?
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Well, I think God was reuniting what he originally separated when he took Eve out of Adam.
Speaker B:So man and wife are intended to like, recreate that union of a man and a woman the way God originally intended.
Speaker B:And that's not that you complete me and I complete you, but he's making them one because it does reflect his nature.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:There are three persons in God, but they're all one.
Speaker B:I mean, that's a concept, you know, all through the Bible.
Speaker A:That is, that is so good.
Speaker A:So oneness to me is.
Speaker A:It's like oneness, one flesh.
Speaker A:No, he didn't say one mind.
Speaker A:He didn't say one heart.
Speaker A:He said one flesh.
Speaker A:So that, but that, I think that implies not only the physical joining of a man and a woman.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:But also is the joining of their emotions, their spirituality.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Intellect, their social interaction, how that they should just come so close to each other.
Speaker A:It's hard to tell when one person ends and the other one begins.
Speaker B:Oh, that's so good.
Speaker B:And, and like you said, it reflects covenant love.
Speaker B:I mean, this is an outward sign of the covenant they.
Speaker B:That a husband and wife make in God's presence before God and of course, before many witnesses if you have a public wedding.
Speaker B:But it is something unique to marriage that shows how God makes covenants and he does not break them.
Speaker B:He does not want covenants to be, you know, taken aback.
Speaker B:Apart.
Speaker B:And it's, it is, it's.
Speaker B:It's a physical sign, an outward sign that God has covenanted two people together and they're bonded.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And Jesus quoted Adam in Matthew 19, 5 and Mark 10:8, where he quoted, it said, for this cause should a man leave his father and mother and be joined unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And then Jesus added something extra.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:He said, what God has joined together.
Speaker B:Let no man separate.
Speaker B:Right, Right, right.
Speaker A:And even Paul quoted Genesis 2:24 in Ephesians 5,31, he quoted the same verse.
Speaker A:So we see it quoted three times in the New Testament.
Speaker A:So as.
Speaker A:And quoted by Moses, Moses writing down what Adam said.
Speaker A:So it's very strong scriptural foundation.
Speaker B:It really is.
Speaker B:You can't say it's just an Old Testament doctrine or a New Testament doctrine.
Speaker B:It is from COVID to cover.
Speaker B:It's in the word of God.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:That's so beautiful.
Speaker A:It is.
Speaker A:So that's.
Speaker A:We got a question for you.
Speaker A:Have you ever felt confused about what God says about sex and intimacy?
Speaker A:And if so, what's one thing you wish the church had told you sooner?
Speaker A:You can leave us a comment atinspiring marriages t.net and we can see your great responses.
Speaker A:Teresa.
Speaker A:Lie number two, desire for intimacy is sinful or shameful.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:Yeah, this, this reminds me of.
Speaker B:You kind of see it in movies where they depict ministers or church leaders as very condemning towards people.
Speaker B:And of course, they, they definitely call a lot of things sinful that, you know, we find out in the New Testament.
Speaker B:If you're not acting like the world, if you're not using the patterns of the world, these wonderful parts of marriage, this part of marriage is not sinful.
Speaker B:This has been called holy by God.
Speaker B:So we don't want to take religious doctrine and religious teaching that's full of condemnation.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:Let it just tear your marriage apart or destroy your mindset about marriage because it's the.
Speaker B:It is a lie that is so good.
Speaker A:So we can see from scripture to truth, from scripture that God created desire and called it good.
Speaker A:Again, you see Genesis 1:31, God called it very good.
Speaker A:His creation very good.
Speaker A:And I, I heard a quote one time, don't disdain what God has created.
Speaker B:Wow.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:He created marriage in the first place, marriage.
Speaker A:And brought Eve to the man and blessed.
Speaker A:And so that's.
Speaker A:Don't disdain what God has.
Speaker A:Has created.
Speaker A:And you see from the whole book of Song of Solomon where this, the scriptures talk about a desire for a husband towards his wife and the wife towards her husband.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And it's done in a.
Speaker A:The Bible says the marriage bed, keep the marriage bed undefiled.
Speaker A:So, no, desire is not bad.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:And you can see the beautiful story of the Song of Solomon, how the, in the poetry in Song of Solomon, how it's depicted of love between a husband and a wife.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And that's such a great place that God has sanctioned those desires and like you said, called it good.
Speaker B:He called marriage a good thing.
Speaker B:I mean, he blessed Adam and Eve, he blessed their union, he blessed their marriage.
Speaker A:But really, Christians, we need to break this shame narrative.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Husbands, wives, you know, your husband, he desires to be with you.
Speaker A:And it's not shameful.
Speaker A:He just wants to be with you.
Speaker A:I know for me, the last person I want to talk to at night is Teresa.
Speaker A:The first person I want to see in the morning is Teresa.
Speaker A:I just want to.
Speaker A:Just to be with her all the time.
Speaker A:And when sometimes I have to travel for work, I just.
Speaker A:I don't like it.
Speaker A:I just don't like being away from you.
Speaker A:I just.
Speaker A:I just like being with you.
Speaker A:And it's desire that the Lord has placed on my heart for my wife.
Speaker A:And it's a strong desire.
Speaker A:I just have a strong desire to be with my wife.
Speaker B:Desiring that physical closeness that God, like you said, he set this forth the way that this is done, and he set forth physical intimacy in marriage.
Speaker B:I mean, Adam knew his wife Eve, and they were able to conceive their first child.
Speaker B:So this is important.
Speaker B:The intimacy level of marriage is supposed to reflect how intimate God wants to be with us.
Speaker B:And there's no shame in desiring your husband, ladies.
Speaker B:There's no shame in.
Speaker B:In desiring him.
Speaker B:You know, we're not playing a dating game like trying to desire someone that you're not married to.
Speaker B:Desiring your husband or for men to desire their wives.
Speaker B:It's a wonderful thing.
Speaker B:It's beautiful because this is where your desires can be satisfied and you can experience God's presence in the midst of your marriage this way.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:There's.
Speaker A:There's different areas of intimacy.
Speaker A:There's spiritual intimacy, intellectual, emotional and physical.
Speaker A:And physical intimacy is the only area.
Speaker A:Intimacy where your, only your spouse can satisfy those needs and desires.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:Okay, so lie number three.
Speaker B:This, this sounds so similar to the other ones, but I think a lot of us have been kind of tricked in this area too.
Speaker B:It says God doesn't care about your emotional closeness.
Speaker B:Wow, that's.
Speaker B:I think this is so powerful because I grew up with this perspective.
Speaker B:There's been a myth of God being distant from us.
Speaker B:And it's depicted in literature.
Speaker B:It's shown in so many places.
Speaker B:Like, you know, I think we got it from Greek mythology, basically.
Speaker B:Greek mythology, like God's just being up in their high lofty places and playing games with human beings and pitting them against each other or using them like puppets and just being entertained by it.
Speaker B:That's not what God is like at all.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And Jesus, Jesus debunked that myth.
Speaker A:He said, you, father knows the very number of hairs on your head.
Speaker A:You know, if he knows it's a sparrow fall, how much would a loving father care about you?
Speaker A:Of course he cares about us.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:I think we got that from Greek mythology where God's were just, I think even some of the founding fathers talk about providence and fate and all that kind of stuff, which is no, not depicting a accurate depiction of our loving heavenly father.
Speaker A:Jesus introduced to us to a father, a loving heavenly father, not a distant God who is busy with the affairs of the world, of the universe.
Speaker A:He really cares about you.
Speaker A:You can see God's heart for an emotional MC.
Speaker A:All through the Psalms, all the psalms that David wrote.
Speaker A:The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
Speaker A:He makes me lie down in green pastures.
Speaker A:It just over and over and over again that the shepherd.
Speaker B:Loving care, loving care and the desire to bless and to help and to nurture those who trust in the Lord.
Speaker B:I mean like you said, David wrote many psalms and so did the other psalmist.
Speaker B:Just those who trust in the Lord, they're going to be safe, they're going to be cared for, protected.
Speaker B:Because God wants to be very involved in our lives.
Speaker B:He does not want, want to be distant.
Speaker B:It's just if people think that it kind of provide.
Speaker B:Puts up this barrier for God to step into your life and be involved and show you how good he is.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker B:And same thing in marriage.
Speaker B:If we believe that there's supposed to be some kind of barrier between husband and wife, then it's hard for God to show us how good he is and how good marriage can be.
Speaker B:So we've got to get our thinking changed.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And if the whole book of Hosea is a.
Speaker A:What Hosea went through is a.
Speaker A:Is a total example and an illustration to us how much our Father desires to be with us.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:And just to be close to us.
Speaker A:If you don't remember the story of Hosea, Hosea had a wife, Gomer, who chose to go back into prostitution and right.
Speaker B:He rescued her out of it.
Speaker B:But she wanted to go back to that life.
Speaker B:It's like all she knew.
Speaker A:And it's Hosea's heartbreak of his wife.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Choosing not to be with him, but back into that lifestyle.
Speaker A:And he had to purchase her again.
Speaker B:Yes, he did go find her, purchase her back.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So this is how the Father just desires.
Speaker A:Of course he paid the ultimate price, was the son sacrificed himself for us.
Speaker A:So he paid the ultimate price of redemption of his son for our life and our freedom.
Speaker A:And the whole Book of First Corinthians, Chapter 13, the Book of love.
Speaker A:Love is patient, love is kind.
Speaker A:And just go through and read that.
Speaker A:The King James says charity, but it's love.
Speaker B:It is love.
Speaker B:And I like how you can put the God's name in there.
Speaker B:God is patient.
Speaker B:God is kind.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And just put his name in there.
Speaker B:God is patient.
Speaker A:God is kind.
Speaker A:Right, Right.
Speaker A:That is so good.
Speaker A:Now we got a bonus section here.
Speaker A:Teresa, we want to talk about what are some practical steps for restoring intimacy.
Speaker A:Just some practical steps.
Speaker A:So number one, like we said, there's four main areas of intimacy.
Speaker A:The spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:What we have to do is be intentional.
Speaker A:Your intimacy just doesn't happen.
Speaker B:Oh, no, it doesn't.
Speaker B:It didn't happen when you were dating.
Speaker B:So it doesn't happen after marriage if you're not intentional.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So if you like some practical ways to build up your spiritual intimacy, send us the email at@inspiringmarriagest.net and ask for the 90 day Bible reading plan for couples.
Speaker A:This is a very unique Bible reading plan for Christian couples to read together.
Speaker A:And you can.
Speaker A:So you have to be intentional about your intimacy.
Speaker A:So what you need to do, you just take a challenge five days in a row.
Speaker A:We're going to read scripture together.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:We're going to pray together.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And then we're going to be physically intimate.
Speaker B:And you have to be a great challenge.
Speaker A:You have to be intentional about it.
Speaker A:So those.
Speaker A:That's a practical way for restoring intimacy.
Speaker A:Well, I don't want to do that, though.
Speaker A:But if you want to restore intimacy, right.
Speaker A:That's what you have to do to.
Speaker B:Invest in your marriage.
Speaker B:And that, like you said, reading the scripture together, praying together, and even talking about what does that mean for our marriage or where can we make some changes so we see what this scripture says taking place in our marriage, our relationship, you will find that that draws you closer in the other areas of intimacy.
Speaker B:Like you said, it will enhance your physical intimacy.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So husbands, your wife needs to feel close to you emotionally and spiritually to open up to you physically.
Speaker A:So if, if you want your wife to open up to.
Speaker A:To you, read scriptures with her, pray with her, and pray over her.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:And ladies, if you want your husband to be open to you, you need to be opened up to him physically.
Speaker A:He feels closest to you after you've been physical.
Speaker A:And that's.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:That's the truth.
Speaker A:And so you just have to be intentional and work out those and just work on it.
Speaker A:And maybe you can't do five days in a row, do three days in a row, do every other day just be intentional about restoring your intimacy.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And then it won't be so hard.
Speaker A:You know, you might say, well, if, if I was married to the right person, it wouldn't be so hard.
Speaker A:Well, that's.
Speaker A:That's just marriage.
Speaker A:Marriage is hard because marriage takes work.
Speaker A:It takes work because you're.
Speaker A:You're laying down your life for your.
Speaker A:For your spouse.
Speaker A:You're putting down your desires and what you want for the benefit of your spouse.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:We would love to pray for you.
Speaker A:If you want to leave us a prayer request, you can do that@inspiringmarriagest.net and of course, we'll keep everything confidential.
Speaker A:If this podcast helped clear up even one misconception for you, could you hit the subscribe button?
Speaker A:It really helps this podcast reach more people who need to hear it.
Speaker A:And if you want to go deeper on this topic, check out some of our other podcasts dealing with spiritual intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and emotional intimacy.
Speaker A:Until next time, remember, husband and wife.
Speaker B:Are friends for life.
