We redeemed our time and saved our marriage

What if the marriage that you’re experiencing today doesn’t have to be the marriage that you’re experiencing a year from now?

Maybe you become disconnected.

Maybe your friendship has faded.

Maybe prayer has become rare.

Maybe you developed patterns that you never intended to develop.

Here is what we want you to know.

Your current patterns do not determine your future.

Over the past four weeks, we talked all about awareness, alignment, adjustment, and investment, but none of these are the destination.

They’re leading somewhere.

Transformation.

And transformation usually doesn’t happen in one enormous moment.

It happens when redeemed moments become new patterns.

New patterns establish a new direction.

And over time, your marriage starts becoming something different.

With God, what has been lost does not have to be final.

Point number one.

Transformation is possible, but is usually progressive.

Now, we’re not going to sell you a formula.

This is a get well quick formula.

There’s no.

There’s no secret formulas.

Is Theresa.

No.

No.

But God does tell us that we are not to be conformed to the image, to this world.

He tells us that in.

In Romans, chapter 12, verse 2.

Right.

Be not conformed to the image of this world, but be transformed by renewing of your mind.

So that’s what’s telling us that we use the truth in the scriptures to transform how we speak, how we act, how we think, and that will in turn transform our marriages.

Let’s look at the redeemed time arc here.

Here we see how we use our time, produces patterns, and that those patterns will determine a direction in our marriage, and that direction will determine an outcome.

So if we want to change the outcome of our marriage, we change how we spend our time.

And that how we spend our time, we would change our patterns and how those different patterns will change our direction to give you the.

The.

The outcome that we desire.

Right, Teresa?

That’s right.

It’s a process.

So God is the one that transforms us.

You know, this is not a.

No, just try all your your might and just do.

You can’t do it yourself.

No, it takes God that does the transformation.

Right.

So there’s a, A.

It’s a process of renewing our minds, practicing what the word of God says.

Growing in our faith.

Yes.

Persevering in tough times.

That’s so good.

Yes.

You know, we’ve been dealing with this for some weeks, but it’s really changing the way you think about time, changing the way you think about growing in friendship, building something together.

If this hasn’t been the way you were thinking about your marriage, you know, it is going to require some new Thinking, So.

But that’s good.

That’s.

That’s what we want right now.

Let’s look at the redeemed time arc again.

Let’s look.

The first week, we talked about becoming aware.

Right.

And then we talked about does that align with our.

Our values.

Right.

And then we talked about adjustment, making tiny, tiny adjustments.

Right.

And then make an investment building something within the.

In our.

The walls of our time, walls of our marriage, I guess.

Which will lead to a transformation, which we’ll talk about today.

Yes.

Yes.

It’s so powerful.

Point number two, your past patterns don’t have to dictate your future patterns.

So yesterday does explain some things, though there is no explanation of.

Yes, yesterday does explain.

But it’s okay.

It doesn’t have to determine tomorrow.

Right, Teresa?

Mm.

That’s so good.

Yes.

We’re talking about having different patterns, but it’s based on, like you said, what we’re thinking about time, how we’re spending time and evaluating it.

And the patterns will change from what you’ve had in the past as you go through this process.

You know, it may help you to go back to the beginning of how we described this process.

If you’re just coming into this in the.

In the last part of this series, because this is so valuable for your marriage.

So there’s a powerful prophecy that Isaiah gave from the lord.

In chapter 43.

Isaiah 43, verse 19.

I’m reading in the new living translation.

The Lord says, for I’m about to do something new.

This is what we want to see in our marriages.

The Lord says, see, I have already begun.

Do you not see it?

I will make a pathway through the wilderness, and I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.

Wow.

This kind of goes along with Lamentations, which I’m sure a lot of people spend a lot of time in.

Lamentations, chapter 3, verse 22 and 23.

You know this verse, though.

The Lord’s loving kindness indeed never cease.

For his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning.

Great.

Is your faithfulness.

You know that verse that.

So no matter what happened in the past, because of God, it doesn’t determine your future.

Right.

Because God is doing a new thing.

And God, his mercies are new every morning.

Great.

It’s his faithfulness.

He is faithful to carry out his word.

Point number three, repeated investments compound.

You notice how that compound interest in impression, like a credit card, how, you know, interest upon interest upon interest upon interest.

It takes years to pay off a credit card.

Right.

The Bible tells us In Galatians, chapter 6, verse 7 and 9 tells us that God shall.

God is not mocked.

Whatever a man soweth, he shall also reap.

So what?

That tells us that if we are continue to sow.

Continue to sow our time.

Let’s take this in a viewpoint of time.

Yes.

So time is like money.

You can waste it, you can spend it, you can invest it.

So let’s talk about investing time in your marriage as you invest and you invest and you invest and you invest.

The Bible tells us God is not much.

Whatever you sow, you shall reap.

And that’s.

And also tells us not to faint.

No.

Not to give up, to stay at it, to keep at it.

To keep at it, to keep at it.

So what it tells us is that one meaningful conversation may not transform your marriage, but a conversation will produce a new pattern.

Affection becomes a pattern.

That’s presence becomes a pattern.

There’s different things you can do to make new patterns in your marriage, and we know that those patterns will determine the direction of the marriage.

Right, Theresa?

That’s so good.

Like you said, you’re sewing on or investing in your marriage.

And when you do these things on a continual basis, you know, don’t give up.

Because like you said, doing that one time didn’t just totally change your marriage.

It’s going to take some time, but you’re learning new ways to use your time, new ways to develop the right patterns that will bring a great reward over a length of time.

Because, you know, it takes time sometimes for your spouse to respond to the new things that you’re doing.

Like, well, they never talked to me that way before.

And you’re, you’re speaking kindly.

You’re saying words of, you know, affectionate words and showing them affection.

And they might seem like, well, this is different.

We’re just used to coexisting or whatever it was before.

But it’ll happen.

You know, your spouse will start responding because, you know, love is so powerful.

It’s so effective.

You know, it can, you know, kindness and a soft answer turns away wrath.

It can even turn someone from being, you know, angry or resentful or whatever your spouse was acting like before to actually responding and saying, this is nice.

I kind of like this.

I’d like to do this in return.

You know, it can really completely transform your married life.

Right.

What you repeatedly invest in your marriage eventually will become part of your marriage.

Number four, transformation changes direction before you necessarily see the outcome.

So that’s important that you may not be able to see anything, but your Direction your marriage has taken place.

You’ve been on, if you ever been on an airplane, you know that they start their descent way before they can physically see the airport.

Way before, like 30 minutes before they can see the airport, they start their descent.

So you may not see anything happening, right?

But their direction has changed, right?

So that’s powerful.

You can make genuine directional change in your marriage before you feel anything, for you feel completely transformed.

You can change the direction of your marriage.

That’s so good.

Don’t become discouraged because two weeks intentionality hasn’t erased 10 years of drift, right?

You got habits, you’ve had habits that you’ve had for 10, 20, 30 years now all get erased in the moments and twinkling of an eye.

They’re just not.

But you know, when that.

When that marriage starts to turn and he’s changed direction, you come.

It will eventually completely transform your marriage.

But you gotta trust in God’s word.

You gotta trust that.

You gotta trust the process.

Right, Teresa?

That’s right.

And I think it will, like you said, compound what, what you’re doing.

When both of you are actually changing, how you are spending your time, changing how you’re treating one another intentionally, you’re going to see, I think, a multiplied result of what you’re doing.

But it does take time to unlearn ways of thinking, unlearn ways of speaking and acting.

Because, you know, a lot of times we do tend to put it on autopilot in the wrong way, you know, and just say, well, we’re fine.

We can just keep on going as we are.

But if your marriage is not sweet, if you’re not enjoying spending time together, then you have room for improvement, right?

We all do.

So it will happen.

That’s so good.

Hebrews chapter 10, verse 35 and 36 is a great encouragement.

The writer Hebrews says, therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.

Great reward.

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.

Oh, yes, we have been blessed with the life and Ministry of Dr. Jerry Savelle, who is the founder of the church that we attend, currently attend.

And he had a great saying, no, God is the champion of making winners in life.

And he kept encouraging us not to quit.

He said, don’t quit, don’t quit.

Stay at it.

Don’t quit.

Know, when God gives you something to do, you.

You keep doing it and, you know, just endure, endure, endure.

Yes, it takes faith to really have a good Christian marriage.

You know, we can apply principles, but we also have to believe for the God factor that we’ve been talking about.

God gets involved when we are doing what will line up with what his word says.

God backs it up.

God will start getting involved in that change that you desire.

It’s.

It’s so powerful and right.

Like Jeff has been saying, don’t quit because it’s not where you want it to be in just weeks or months.

This may take longer than you thought it would.

But.

But every step of the way is progress.

You are making progress.

Right.

Philippians, chapter one, verse six tells us.

For I’m confident of this very one thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

Oh, yes.

Brother Jerry also, also always tell us that it’s.

You stand in faith for from the moment you say amen until you can say there it is, that’s where you have to stand in faith.

Yes.

And that’s where the good fight of faith occurs.

Stand in the faith even though you don’t see the results yet.

Right.

We have to get away from seeing, believing what we see with our eyes over what we know in our hearts is right.

You know, that’s why the word of God is so important.

It gives us something to stand on.

This is something we learned over the years.

We have God’s word on something and he will bring it to pass when we don’t quit, when we stay true to what his word says.

Right Is so good.

Right.

Point number five.

God is a God of redemption.

This brings us back to a foundational scripture of the entire redeemed the time Mary marriage series.

Oh, yes.

Chapter Ephesians, chapter 5, 15, 16, 17.

Right.

Go back to it.

It says walk circumspectly like the wise instead of the unwise.

Right.

Redeeming the time for the days are evil.

Or.

Or walk carefully.

Make the most of every moment.

So what we need to do is.

Make.

So what we need to do is make the most of every moment.

We talked about the difference between chronological time.

Everybody in the world gets 14, 40 minutes a day.

Everybody gets the same number of minutes.

You get 14, 40 minutes a day.

Whether you’re in the United States, where you’re in Canada, you’re in South Africa, you’re in Australia, Japan, China, it doesn’t matter.

14, 40 Minutes a day.

It’s what you do with that time that matters.

What you do with that time with your spouse matters.

Or you can spend.

Make meaningful moments during that time.

Like one moment, one evening on the couch.

Vegging out is not going to ruin your marriage.

But if, if you’re.

If your year is filled with 365 nights of just vegging out in front of the couch, in front of tv, that, that’s.

That’s a serious pattern that’s going to.

Take your marriage in direction you don’t want to go.

Right.

Right.

But, you know, take time those m. Make.

Take time to make those connections, to ask questions, to make a connection with your spouse.

Do fun things together, watch something on television.

You both like.

That’s okay.

Right.

But do fun things with your spouse.

That’s right.

So we can’t go back.

So we talked about redeeming the time.

We’re not going to, you know, God’s not going to erase 20 years off your life.

You go back, we’re not going to be back, and we’re not.

No, it doesn’t burst the time, but he does make the time meaningful.

And the thing is, when you go, when you make that direction, you’re right back on course.

You’re right back where you were supposed to be in anyway.

That’s the beautiful thing about God’s redemption.

You’re back in your original place.

You’re supposed to be in the first place.

Right.

And you don’t actually lose all that time.

Exactly.

Exactly.

He puts you where you should be according to his plan for your marriage and for your lives together.

It’s amazing.

That’s the miraculous part.

You know, he gets you, you know, leap, leaping, you know, bounds.

What’s the word?

He gets you far ahead of where you would be if you had stayed in those old patterns.

And you’re where he wanted you to be.

Right on time.

Which we’ve seen this happen for us.

And it’s.

It’s incredible.

It’s amazing.

We feel like newlyweds again when we started applying these principles some years ago.

Right.

In Joel, chapter 2, verse 25 is one of another foundational scripture for our redeemed.

The time series is then I will make up for you the years that the swarming locusts have eaten, the creeping locusts, the stripping locusts and the gnawing locusts, my great army which I send among you.

You will have plenty to eat and be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord your God.

So God will make up the years that those things took away from your marriage and add that back to your marriage so you will have the benefits, you’ll have the results of those years as if you were spending those years making meaningful moments.

Yes, that makes sense.

Yes, it’s amazing.

It really is.

So let’s look at our graph again.

As you can see, time creates patterns.

Patterns establish direction, and direction determines outcome.

But the great thing thing is the story doesn’t have to end there.

We have a great thing called redemption.

And look down below about awareness, alignment, adjustment, investment leads to transformation.

So again, we say it again.

1.

The great heritage of faith that we received, legacies that we received from Dr. Jerry Savelle was his mandate that God is a champion of making winners in life.

And he taught us to not accept failure as the final word when God’s word says something different.

And we believe this applies to marriages also.

Yes, yes.

And we want to look at 2nd Corinthians 2:14.

But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumph in Christ and manifests through us the sweet aroma of the knowledge of him in every place.

Wow.

Brother Jerry taught from this verse that adversity and setbacks are real.

He never denied tribulations.

Right?

He never.

He never denied sickness, he never denied disease.

He never denied that were storms.

But he did teach us to stay strong, hang on to God’s word and we persevere.

In John chapter 16, verse 33, Jesus said these things.

I have spoken to you in that in me you might have peace.

In the world you will have tribulation.

And people stop there for some reason, but it doesn’t end there.

But.

But be of good cheer.

I have overcome the world.

So that tells us that Christ has overcome.

So even when hard times come, even when the storms come, and even when the difficulties come, stand fast in.

In God, stand fast.

Hold on to each other.

You’re.

You’re fighting together.

Stay true.

Keep sowing kindness.

Keep sowing that time, keep making moments, and you will see the outcome that you desire for your marriage.

Winning a marriage is not defined feeding your spouse.

When your spouse loses, you lose.

Right?

You don’t win in marriage by winning against each other.

You win with the husband and the wife.

Stand together with God and refuse to let what is attacking their covenant have the final word.

We have something for you on our website.

We have a redeemed time marriage audit.

There’s a link for it down below in the comments.

Now that you’ve watched all five weeks you’re ready to take either the audit the first time or the second time to see what progress has been made.

So if you’ve already taken it, go back and take it again and see the progress.

You’ll be surprised and you’ll be happy to see the progress.

And if you’d like to check out this subject even further, check out our new book right here.

It’s called you’re not Losing Love, you’re Losing Time.

And it’s available on Amazon right now in paperback and Kindle.

So use there for you.

Have we also have our 30 days to rebuild your friendship.

It’s available on Amazon paperback only because we want you to write in it and we also would like you to do this.

Go on from on both books on Amazon.

Please leave a view on Amazon for us that help us a lot, help us out and allow other people to see these resources.

In our next video, we’re going to talk about seven signs that your marriage is getting stronger.

And we’ll see you there right there, right now.

And we’ll see you over there.

Until then, remember, God designed husband and wife to be friends for life.