Hope is Not a Distant Dream: Finding Light in Your Marriage
Today, we're diving into the heavy but oh-so-important topic of hopelessness in marriage. If you've ever felt like your relationship is stuck in a black hole of despair, you're not alone, and trust me, this episode is for you! We’re all about finding that glimmer of hope and reminding you that it’s possible to rekindle the light in your marriage. So grab your favorite cozy drink, kick back, and let’s chat about how to navigate those tough times together, armed with faith, some powerful tools from God, and a sprinkle of humor. Don't worry, we got this—let's turn those frowns upside down and give hope a fighting chance! Feeling like your marriage is stuck in a never-ending loop of disagreements and emotional distance? You’re not alone! Today’s chat dives into that dark place of hopelessness many couples find themselves in. We, Jeff and Teresa, share our personal stories and a whole lot of real talk about what it means when hope feels out of reach in your relationship. We tackle the tough stuff—those moments when you look at your partner and think, 'Can this ever get better?' Spoiler alert: it can! We offer you a fresh perspective on hopelessness, shining a light on the fact that it often creeps in when expectations collide with reality. But don't worry, we sprinkle in some hope, inspired by the belief that God is always there, ready to help us find our way back to love and friendship. Grab your coffee (or tea, we don't judge!) as we explore how to nurture your marriage back to life with practical steps and heartfelt encouragement. It’s time to rekindle that spark and remind ourselves that love, faith, and connection can flourish again!
Takeaways:
- Feeling hopeless in marriage is super common, but there’s always a way forward.
- Hope isn’t just a wish; it’s an expectation based on faith, and that’s powerful!
- Small, consistent steps of kindness can spark hope and healing in your relationship.
- With God’s help, even the most distant relationships can be restored and renewed.
Links referenced in this episode:
https://inspiringmarriages.aweb.page/p/64ffdf51-acc8-41db-bb8b-a54929a9247d
Transcript
When hope feels out of reach.
Speaker A:Finding light again in your marriage.
Speaker A:Welcome to the Inspiring Marriages podcast.
Speaker A:We're here to help Christian couples nurture deep friendship and cultivate marriages that thrive spiritually, emotionally, romantically, and physically.
Speaker B:We are Jeff and Teresa Fields, and today we're diving into a topic that many couples silently wrestle with but barely talk about out loud.
Speaker B:Hopelessness in marriage.
Speaker A:Maybe you've been there.
Speaker A:Maybe you're there right now.
Speaker A:That place where you look at your marriage, that place where you look at your marriage and think, I don't see a way out of this.
Speaker A:I don't see how things could ever change.
Speaker B:If that's you or you've ever felt that way or if you know, know of anyone like this, this episode is for you.
Speaker A:Because hopelessness can seem real.
Speaker A:But we know there is a real God who is real, who restores hope.
Speaker B:So grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and let's explore how to cultivate a marriage rooted in love, faith, and deep connection.
Speaker A:Be sure to check out our website@inspiringmarriages.net Dive into all of our previous episodes with detailed show notes that will enrich your listening experience.
Speaker B:Plus, scroll down to find our Keep in Touch section where you can sign up and receive our latest offerings absolutely free.
Speaker B:Don't miss out on the inspiration.
Speaker B:Visit us today.
Speaker A:Teresa, I am so excited about starting our third season of Inspiring Marriages.
Speaker A:We started this two years ago around Valentine's Day.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And so it's been quite the adventure.
Speaker B:Yes, it has.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:We've grown a lot in doing a podcast and, and finding topics that really help people, encourage people.
Speaker A:So today we're talking about hopelessness.
Speaker A:Hopelessness comes from a sense that you can't see a way out.
Speaker A:You can't see how you can get out of where you are.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:And this feeling of hopelessness surrounds you.
Speaker A:And hopelessness is from our enemy.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Hopelessness does not come from God.
Speaker A:So some couples feel hopeless not because they don't love each other, but because they just can't see a path forward.
Speaker A:You know, the same arguments keep happening.
Speaker A:The emotional distance seems wider than ever.
Speaker A:Friendship that once was like felt natural, now is forced.
Speaker A:Romance is faded and the spiritual connection is just isn't there.
Speaker A:It's either dry or.
Speaker A:Or just non existent.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So hopelessness often grows in the gap between what we expected marriage to be and what we're experiencing right now.
Speaker A:And when you can't see that way out, it's easy to believe that there isn't one.
Speaker A:But that isn't the truth is it.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker A:So right here is the good news.
Speaker A:God never leaves his people without hope.
Speaker A:Hebrews 11:1 says, now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Speaker A:Teresa read that to us in the Amplified Classic.
Speaker B:Okay?
Speaker B:It's really good.
Speaker B:Now, faith is the assurance, which means the confirmation, the title deed of the things we hope for being the proof of things we do not see and the conviction of their reality.
Speaker B:So the Amplified says, faith is perceiving as real fact what is not revealed to the senses.
Speaker A:So what we want to really be careful about, we talk about hope.
Speaker A:We're not talking about wishing.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker A:Oh, I hope this happens, or I hope that happens, or it's not wishing.
Speaker A:It's not.
Speaker B:Yeah, Wishful thinking.
Speaker A:It's not wishful thinking.
Speaker A:It's not positive thinking.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Is hope is.
Speaker A:It was really expectation built from the word of God.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:Hope is what you're expecting when you have expectation.
Speaker A:When you have an expectation that things will change, then you have hope.
Speaker B:That's so true.
Speaker B:A lot of times you see that with childlike faith, little children can.
Speaker B:Can hope for something and they fully expect it's going to happen.
Speaker B:Nobody can talk them out of it.
Speaker B:And that's the Bible kind of hope that you're talking about, Right?
Speaker A:So we could talk about this forever.
Speaker A:I mean, that could be entire volumes of book talking about hope in marriage.
Speaker A:But we're going to talk about four powerful gifts that God has given us to anchor us when marriage feels heavy, when marriage feels confusing, or if marriage feels impossible.
Speaker A:Number one, the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ, our living hope.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker A:Romans 8, 10 through 12 says, as Christ lives within you, so even though your body will die because of sin, the Spirit gives you life because you've been made right with God.
Speaker A:The spirit of God who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you.
Speaker A:And just as God raised Jesus Christ from the dead, he will give you life to your mortal bodies by this.
Speaker A:This same living spirit within you.
Speaker A:Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do.
Speaker A:Jesus doesn't just give us hope.
Speaker A:He is hope.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead is living in you.
Speaker A:By the resurrection power of Christ, we can overcome.
Speaker A:We have hope.
Speaker B:That is so true.
Speaker B:I mean, it's his spirit that's living in you.
Speaker B:The Holy Spirit is the same as Jesus.
Speaker B:He's the life of God.
Speaker B:He's.
Speaker B:He's the hope, he's the joy.
Speaker B:And all of that gets put inside the believer.
Speaker B:You have the Lord Jesus living on the inside of you.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:And Jesus specializes in direction, restoration, and renewal.
Speaker A:Three Rs.
Speaker A:Dr. Jerry Savelle was famous for saying God is a champion of making winners in life.
Speaker A:And he would kind of equate it to a restoration of a car or renovation of a house to make it even better than it was before.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker A:God specializes in resurrection, restoration and renewal.
Speaker A:If he can bring life out of a tomb, he can breathe life back into your marriage.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Isn't that right, Teresa?
Speaker B:That is so good.
Speaker B:Because people may think their marriage is nothing left, but with God, all things are possible if you believe in what the Word says He can do and who he is.
Speaker B:That's so true.
Speaker A:So not only has God given us the Lord Jesus Christ, our resurrection life, he renewed our life, transformed life.
Speaker A:He's also given us the Scriptures, which is our Guide and Foundation.
Speaker A:Second Timothy, chapter three, verses 16 and 17, says, All Scripture is God breathed and useful.
Speaker A:Teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:That the Word of God is going to equip you for rebuilding your marriage or working together to restore your relationship.
Speaker B:When you base it on the Scriptures, you can't lose.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:It's the times when emotions are lying to us, when the circumstances seem, like, overwhelming.
Speaker A:That's when we can't see clearly.
Speaker A:That's when the Word of God becomes our compass.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:And a compass always works.
Speaker B:It always points true north.
Speaker B:And the Word of God is always going to show you the truth.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:Scriptures reminds us that God is near to brokenhearted.
Speaker A:Love is patient and kind.
Speaker A:Forgiveness is possible.
Speaker A:Restoration is God's specialty.
Speaker A:The Bible doesn't ignore pain.
Speaker A:It speaks directly to it.
Speaker B:That's so good.
Speaker A:The Bible gives us clear instructions.
Speaker A:Husbands love your wife so deeply, purely sacrificially, that it can only be compared to the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker A:It tells us, wise honor your husband.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:So it gives us clear instructions on how to live our married life.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:It might now not sound right to your mind sometimes, because your mind has not been trained to think on the Scriptures, to think the way that God thinks.
Speaker B:But the more you get into the Scripture, the more it will make sense to you, because you can see it's always true.
Speaker B:The Scriptures don't contradict each other.
Speaker B:So on a wife honoring their.
Speaker B:Her husband.
Speaker B:Husband is not going to bring bad to their marriage.
Speaker B:It's only going to bring good.
Speaker B:Because that's the way God designed marriage.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So if you would like a free PDF of a 90 day Bible reading plan for Christians and you don't have to finish this in 90 days.
Speaker A:No, you just take your time.
Speaker A:We are going to include a link to it in our show notes today and then you can have it and you can have it for free.
Speaker A:So we're going give it didn't cost us anything to put it together.
Speaker A:So we're not going to of course not charge anybody for it.
Speaker A:So you are free to have that.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker A:So not only did God give us Jesus and the resurrection life, a renewed life, a restored life, he gave us scriptures for instructions so we know how to walk as a.
Speaker A:As a husband.
Speaker A:So we know how to walk.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:As a wife, how we can be loving to each other.
Speaker A:He also gave us the Holy Spirit, our helper and counselor.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker A: Romans: Speaker B:Mm, that's right.
Speaker B:And so Paul was praying for the church, praying for believers, for what God really wants for us if we trust in Him.
Speaker B:Not only does he fill you with joy and peace, but then you can overflow with hope.
Speaker B:So you don't have to struggle at trying to get hope back in your heart and your mind.
Speaker B:You start trusting in God and you will overflow with joy and peace and hope.
Speaker B:So good.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Remember, we're not trying to fix our marriages all by ourselves.
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker A:The Holy Spirit empowers you to do what may feel like right now is impossible, but the Holy Spirit will empower you.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:It says you may overflow with hope.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:He will soften your heart.
Speaker A:The Holy Spirit will break patterns.
Speaker A:The Holy Spirit will heal wounds.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:The Holy Spirit will rebuild trust.
Speaker A:And the Holy Spirit will rekindle affection.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:That almost sounds like a progression of how he works.
Speaker B:I just love that.
Speaker B:First of all, your hearts have to be softened for you to even be open to how God wants you to do things differently.
Speaker B:And, you know, then you start seeing those patterns that he needs to get out of your life.
Speaker B:And he's more than able to break wrong patterns.
Speaker B:Whether it's communication patterns or emotional patterns or lack of connection or whatever it is, he is so well able to do that.
Speaker B:And then of course, healing wounds.
Speaker B:Because if there's been wrong patterns, if there's been miscommunication, you both could be hurting.
Speaker B:So God wants to heal all those wounds.
Speaker B:He wants to build you up and strengthen you and restore you, as we've been saying.
Speaker B:And of course, as your wounds are being healed, you can begin to trust each other.
Speaker B:Let God help you trust each other.
Speaker B:It is going to be a process.
Speaker B:It doesn't happen overnight to just start trusting fully the person that you're married to.
Speaker B:If there has been, you know, distrust or there's been, you know, hurt feelings and wrong things going on, it will take some time.
Speaker B:But God is so good at doing this.
Speaker B:He's so excellent in all these areas.
Speaker B:And of course, when you are trusting each other, God will rekindle that affection, that, that romance, that desire for one another that should be just so special between the two of you again.
Speaker A:That is.
Speaker A:That is so good.
Speaker A:The Holy Spirit gives us wisdom when we feel lost, and the Holy Spirit gives us strength when we feel empty.
Speaker B:Yes, exactly.
Speaker B:I love.
Speaker B:I think it's in Jeremiah.
Speaker B:But one of the Scriptures says, you know, you can hear the voice of your teacher behind you and he's telling you, this is the way.
Speaker B:Walk in it.
Speaker B:He's going to be speaking to you and guiding you.
Speaker B:If you'll listen, if you'll.
Speaker B:You'll get quiet and listen to him.
Speaker B:He'll give you strength.
Speaker B:He'll give you wisdom.
Speaker B:Know which way to go, you know, so you won't veer off to one side or the other and get into wrong territory.
Speaker B:You.
Speaker B:He'll keep you on track if you want him to guide you.
Speaker A:If you would like to drop us an email, we would love to pray with you and for you.
Speaker A:Drop us an email@instiringmarriagest.net and we will include a link in the show notes.
Speaker A:So not only has God is his love for our marriages, he's given us the Lord Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.
Speaker A:He's given us the Scriptures, he's given us the Holy Spirit, and he's given us each other.
Speaker A:It's God's gift of companionship.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker A:Even when you feel like you're on opposite sides, God designed marriage as a partnership.
Speaker A: In Matthew: Speaker A:For where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.
Speaker A:So if you and Your spouse.
Speaker A:If you feel like you're in a hopeless situation, you're not.
Speaker A:Jesus promised us if you two can agree on earth about anything, his father will do it for them.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:So if you are in a situation where you feel like there's hopelessness in your marriage, just grab your spouse by the hand, look each other in the eye, and you agree, pray, and you agree on what you want God to do in your marriage.
Speaker A:You want God to restore your marriage?
Speaker A:He's going to restore your marriage.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:You might just be agreeing that he'll show you a path forward.
Speaker B:You know, that you can get out of the place that you're in.
Speaker B:I mean, start where you are.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:You're not enemies.
Speaker A:You're not competitors.
Speaker A:You're not stuck in a stalemate.
Speaker A:What you are teammates.
Speaker A:You are allies.
Speaker A:You are two people that can learn, grow, and rebuild together.
Speaker A:You can listen to our audio podcast on Apple Podcasts Spotify and Amazon.
Speaker A:Please leave us a review.
Speaker A:You can watch this podcast on YouTube, search for the Inspiring Marriages Channel.
Speaker A:You can even listen to our podcast on your smart devices to, say, alexa, play the Inspiring Marriages Podcast.
Speaker A:So, Teresa, what we want to talk about for a little bit.
Speaker A:What does hope look like in real life?
Speaker A:Now, hope doesn't always look like fireworks or instant transformation, does it?
Speaker A:No, it's just like you said.
Speaker A:It may not happen overnight, but it can.
Speaker A:But hope does look like this.
Speaker A:One honest conversation or one small act of kindness, one prayer whispered through tears.
Speaker B:One moment of choosing grace, one step.
Speaker A:Towards the other instead of away.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And think about this on your part, you know, not say, well, I'll have hope if my spouse does these things.
Speaker B:You know, have hope because God is moving on your heart to have an honest conversation or to do an act of kindness for your spouse or to pray about something, even if it's, you know, you're crying your heart out about it.
Speaker B:But pray and reach out to God and ask for help.
Speaker B:You know, these are.
Speaker B:These are all so powerful.
Speaker B:But think about it for yourself first before you see it in your spouse.
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So this.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:You might feel like, well, he.
Speaker A:He'll never change, or she'll never change.
Speaker A:I'm telling you, take the step.
Speaker A:You be the one that takes a step towards the other one.
Speaker A:Because hope grows in small, faithful steps.
Speaker B:That's so true.
Speaker A:And when you take those steps with Jesus at the center, your marriage can experience healing, renewal, and joy again.
Speaker A:Mm.
Speaker B:Right?
Speaker B:These are choices you're gonna make on a daily basis.
Speaker B:You know, you're gonna choose Joy.
Speaker B:You're gonna choose to have hope.
Speaker B:You're gonna choose to trust in the Lord.
Speaker B:So it's not gonna be overnight like you said, Jeff, but every day just make these choices right?
Speaker A:You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.
Speaker A:Please like follow and subscribe.
Speaker A:You can also connect us via email@inspiringmarriagest.net you can leave us questions and suggestions on how to make this podcast better and what topics you'd like for us to explore.
Speaker A:Finally to tonight during this podcast, we want to give a word, a word of encouragement to the couple who feels done.
Speaker A:If you feel like you tried everything, if you feel like nothing works, if you feel like you've gone too far, listen to me.
Speaker A:I want to speak some words of truth to you.
Speaker A:You're not beyond God's reach.
Speaker A:Your marriage is not above God's repair.
Speaker A:Your story is not over.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:God has restored marriages that were colder, more distant, and more broken than yours.
Speaker A:And he can do it again.
Speaker B:Amen.
Speaker B:Thank you for joining us today on Inspiring Marriages.
Speaker B:If this episode spoke to you, share it with another couple who may need a reminder that hope is still alive.
Speaker A:Remember, you have Jesus, you have the Holy Scriptures, you have the Holy Spirit, and you have each other.
Speaker A:Hope is not lost.
Speaker A:Hope is rising.
Speaker A:We'll see you next time as we continue building marriages that thrive in every way spiritually, emotionally, romantically, and physically.
Speaker A:Remember, husband and wife are friends for life.
